September 11, 2024 late p.m.

 

This afternoon left a lot to be desired as I was squished between two guys trying to get my seatbelt in order for the most part of the day was aggravating enough. I thought I was going through I real depression but as I said I haven’t been having the best day to be more honest with you as though the swimming was good and very interesting that float around in the pool it was still aggravating to go and have a get squished by two guys and I see that was cramped and I couldn’t even get my seatbelt on that was what was triggering me today and the fact that I couldn’t do very much except read my book which is on the Libby app! At the time it was about the Forensic science, which is very interesting but an annoying subject, nonetheless for me I find is not more of my favourite subjects to read about, but something I wanted to read. It was free so baggers can’t be choosers. I just wish I had more room to read the book, but I didn’t know he said I was literally two guys and a seat, and I couldn’t do very much kind of aggravating, One of them would be quiet and I won’t say what their name is, but anyways, basically that was my afternoon squished and I see and I couldn’t do very much. It was very aggravating and I can feel my temper rising by the time I got to my job I was more than cranky again. I didn’t know any better about my medication. I would’ve thought that I was going through a deep depression or at least just for the day at least because it was just a pain in my butt speaking of pain in the butt I was able to find a Suitable music distribution site, I don’t know what is wrong with some people, but they just want money out of you and it’s like I don’t have that or I’m like Scrooge. I’d rather hide it away and use it on myself or use it. Unlike Scrooge use it for charity that being said, either way it stays in my pocket or it goes on my freeway. It doesn’t go because someone wants it! I spent the past few days trying to find music distribution Side that finally didn’t have to give me a payout or bank or anything like that as I am not comfortable giving that crap out. I’m very happy about that, but as I said, the being squished and small, she was enough to traumatize me for at least a few days wasn’t exactly my cup of tea into a literally smothered!

That being said, I was close to spirit right there because I was getting very angry. I don’t know if I was gonna die a ranger if that is such a thing, It was just my frustration levels rise at the time, but I just couldn’t handle being in that squished seat I had had memories about when I was on an airplane. I had one of my post traumatic stress disorder, flashbacks on an airplane, which was not very cute I know that I was not very happy. It was the flight attendant said, bro IIt was just my frustration levels rise at the time, but I just couldn’t handle being in that squished seat I had had memories about when I was on an airplane. I had one of my post traumatic stress disorder, flashbacks on a airplane, which was not very cute I know that I was not very happy. It was the flight attendants Brought it on themselves by closing the cabin windows and I couldn’t see what time it was and it was frustrating and it was kind of aggravating that basically why I don’t like being squished!   

Well, anyways, I was able to correct myself by doing my job. I do a cleaning job for I’m not gonna say how much because some people are just gonna want money scammers and so I’m not gonna say but I do have a cleaning job that being said, I enjoyed cleaning out gives me that meditative feel. …… I am at peace and I’m happy for once it’s kinda like that kind of feeling it’s very interesting. What cleaning can do and certainly not from the fumes of the spray or anything as I don’t do that kind of thing but I do enjoy the endorphins and feeling good about myself after doing two hours of work!   

That being said, I’m gonna be working on a book one day which would be called. Don’t talk to me!  I don’t know what it’s gonna be about yet, but I will let you know tomorrow when I come up with the idea for it. It’s very interesting where my artwork on my iPad that I use my Apple pen with actually does some good for me. I wanna make this a bit of a romance and novel meets bear town.!   I love it’s a very good book series. There’s certain amount of books and the series is a trilogy. I read the second book I have starting the third and I am also going to read the first book and then read them all at once in order. see what I have together as far as that is concerned. 

My book cover is basically the idea of the bear town Siri cause I like Northern lights I enjoy. I would like to be able to see the northern lights if possible but as I said, usually it’s not as possible as it seems I am screwed over either as cloudy or it’s too light out at this time of day, it’s kind of aggravating to be honest with you that it’s still light as hell.   I would like to be able to just go from there being said I would like to be able to do a lot of different things at night, but as I said, either cloudy rainy or something to the artefact that I can’t do it I tried one time to do astral photography on my phone, but that kind of went to Kapot, but I can actually do it again. I hope I can try this once again and see where this will take me. I remember my friend used to take pictures of The Northern lights that being said it’s very interesting to see them in pictures. I just found out a way to create them on paper to do my art!  That is all!  Also I do a lot of art for arts sake!  Also I am hoping to have a better nights fucking sleep!  

That fucking night terror I had and the nightmare of a day was too much for my wee brain to handle especially after a fucking nightmare!  I am lucky that the nightmare I last night was whipped from my memory like a computer, but I wish it was not by being in a human sandwich!      That is what I hate the most in life is discomfort for extended period of time ….that should be a form of torture in some classes!  But that is just me!   I had being squished because my brain feel that way!   Fucking hate hate Hate hate it!   As far as I am concerned I took a picture of a morning glory!