September 24, 2024 a.m

Sorry to not have written in the last while, as I was first getting ready for a tattoo it was a shattered with the white part in the black part of being a; you know what a; means in the tattoo world that being said, I will come a lot of stuff in my life or it didn’t turn out I had PTSD also I must’ve had a nervous breakdown that may have acted like it that being said I ended up getting the tattoo and also I’ve been working a lot on my Writing on other things as well like for example I have written different things about well. It was a special story and stuff and also I was writing this poem for my poem.verse novel!

It was a full moon,

I could tell as I saw it

And felt it

This morning I had a bit of temper tantrum 

But did not think  twice about it 

Until tell a say the moon full as can be;

Annoying it big and full

Enough to ruin my day

As I was going to find the the reason for my temper tantrum 

While I was stargazing at night

ASI look at the bright and offensive orb that is the moon

I want to blow it up

For people like me who go nuts in the full moon;

As I walk inside to have some popcorn and then grape leaves 

As I finish the snack I would 

Finally go to bed after a long night of stargazing I find that I descend 

Into a uneasy sleep as I do I am back in the dreaded forest

The forest I deem as dreaded

But really that was not the worse of  it

She was there 

The belly dancing banshee!  

Her screams, wailing and keening 

What is this all about as I tried to pinch my self to see if this is really or not I am still there

Why?! 

As I was going to thrash to wake my self up 

Then things go into a green tone 

That was not my interested was the screaming and keening 

Was it something ominous 

Was this some kind of prophecy

Or was it the heralding of the end for me or someone else

That I know!  As I  look around i see that 

It is my back yard and I was still stargazing

But in the forest I can see her ad I can here her

There is a frog in my throat I want to scream equally as loud

But I don't know how to process this

As I  look around I 

Wanted to think it was a dream

Then some one calls my name to go inside

This spilled into my reality

As I remember the 

Quote 

One man's crazy is another man's reality

I am thinking for my self that I am going insane 

But then the person calling my name to come into the house 

She hears the screams

And asks if everything is fine

How can it be fine

I yell back and tried to run back into the house

That was when a boney hand grips my wrist

This was when I hear it again

"Come sweet child of me!"

As I find then I am being dragged into the forest 

My heart fills with dread

And fear for the safety and well being

This was now not I case of me being crazy 

Or it being a dream

But this was what I am going to have to deal with on an almost daily or nightly basis 

Why me

I think to my self 

Is that going to be the last thing I every think or ask 

Before going to the abyss

As I thrash the grip gets stronger 

Cutting off my circulation 

It was painful

And I usually

99.9% don't feel pain

But this was the first time I felt pain

It was frightening no the less

Why am I being dragged into the forest 

......so she can feed off my soul

I did not thing that this was possible 

To feed from other people's souls

But then there it was she opened her mouth

Her teeth looking up brushed, broken and unkept

Some were missing

Then it sounds like a howling wind 

Soon I feel this intense pain of the soul leaving my body 

I was dying.... But was I dying in my sleep

I don't know yet 

Will I make to 24

I don't know yet 

But this is disturbing 

This feels like I am 

In the movie the ring

The horror film where you watch it 

And have 7 days to live

That being said did some giblet head watch it around me 

We will never know my soul is about to purge itself of my body 

I feel my breathing shallow

And my heart rate spread up

What was happing 

I snap my eyes open!

I was in the forest while wearing my pajamas 

But what was going on

Why was I in the forest to begin with 

 Maybe I was sleep walking in fear and terror

Was this beyond this concept of a night terror

But I don't see her anywhere to be found

I thought it was just a dream

That was until I started to sit up

The pain was so intense 

I also screamed and keened like a benched

But the dawn  was breaking 

And I soon did not have to worry about anything 

But to get a Tylenol for the pain I struggle 

To get into the house were I am safe

I was being told I was walking in a trance like state 

But why?

In my mind I still here the keening and wailing that I 

Know have scared in my mind

I wanted to believe that it was a dream!  But I was not a dream

For I can here the right pitch and tempo thatwasofthis belly dancing banshee

The belly dancer

I want to know what indid to deserve this 

Kind of torment 

This torture of the mind

Was it someone doing psyops on me 

Or were they

Actually really that I when I start 

To question reality and trust of others

They say that demonic possess Starts with 

Questioning things then it breaks

Down and the entity starts to hijack the soul!

Is this what is happening

Washington I being hijacked from the inside out

I start to really worry

About the people around me

And that goings on in my mind 

Do I need help 

No mental health can fix the spiritual real 

And I start to fear for more then my soul

But also my physical well-being

I tried to get some rest 

Form the pain

I really did

But then it finally spills out to this word

Not the dreams

Although I have been working on this novel audio series on Pocket FM, that being said, it’s very interesting to see where this is gonna lead to right now. I just don’t know what is going to happen in the rest of the story. It’s started off well I’ll tell you the Summary!

Love in the morgue?

When Nikki went to apply for a job as a forensic scientist at the morgue she doesn't nit that the chief medical examiner is her childhood sweet hear, who left along Time ago.  When she realizes the ring on his finger she is crushed but still determined to be with him.

Little did she know that Trey feels the same way about her!   

What will happen

And that particular book or audiobook let’s just call in an audiobook and soon to be book is going to be called love apothecary! Like if you ever read the book, they lost apothecary where they talk about poisoning people. This is well the morgues so that’s why I use the word apothecary and the same sense as Sarah Penner! Being said is very interesting where the stories gonna lead to me and stuff like that. Also, I was preparing for a tattoo so I did not get to write as much. Actually, I was too focussed and on getting the tattoo at this point in time to actually do anything else except right or otherwise do something else that would be like doing this writing on here!

They are being said the finished product is a shattered yang Yang the black part with the white in it is a; as you can see as I have had a deal with my health and a barking brain for quite some time in my life still do times shattered because sometimes things go right in life and the yang meaning that I’m talking about Trying to find balance in life that being said I find that I walked the line between good and evil sometimes with yin and yang similar to that aspect and especially one suffering from a mental illness turns out it was just OCD, but I did some research and it turned out to be trauma relay OCD. I don’t know where the trauma would come from but then again I am not , really too sure about that. That being said it was kind of a pain in the ass to know that piss off was still there. I’ll show you the actual symptoms of trauma related OCD that being said it sounds no different from PTSD except for the fucking fact that it has no nightmares so you guess exactly the same thing but without the nightmares, I don’t know where the nightmares were coming from maybe a fertile imagination or something but you know me if I been on long enough I’ve been known to have a imagination. That’s what I was famous for as a kid and still to this day!    

This is still a pain in my ass for me to deal with the idea that the OCD may have been caused by trauma. I don’t know what is running under the hood that may cause that as I was too young to deal with this bullshit when I was younger, the bullshit of war and stuff that being said, I didn’t really think about that. Maybe my brain processes things differently than most people And may remembered some stuff but anyways that being said that’s basically why I got the tattoo also, it was part of a flash sale at the Perth ink witch, or as I call them the pink witch! I enjoy going there for a lot of good reasons just relaxing one thing that I find unusual with tattoos is if they don’t hurt worth a pinch of fart that being said, this is what I had to say about the Perth ink witch, and it was a glowing review!

I went here many times for my tattoo and piercing needs Ndi would go back again.    that make things so relaxing and fun!  prices are great too!! 

No, I may have fudged my spelling at the time because I was writing on my phone, which is always fun. It’s not like going on my iPad where I can easily have my fingers freely able to do what they want that being said it’s kind of aggravating to be honest with you That I could not do anything with my thumb and long nails sometimes long nails are bad but sometimes they gonna be a pain in the ass !     That being said I am happy with the tattoo as I helped design it!