Dear Natalie
“The cure for crime is not the electric
chair, but the high chair.”
J. Edgar Hoover
I know there has been some people that have been up on the high horses and causing some problems grief and drama in your life but I don’t despair if you think about the FBI’s motto fidelity bravery and integrity you might find that life will be full of positivity instead of negativity. You have been through a lot do you 14 years and you’re going to continue to go through a lot but if you continue following these three words fidelity bravery integrity then things will come out smelling like roses instead of like poop and I’m sorry to say that. I know this is your first day at high school by trying to think of it this way that is like going to the FBI academy instead of going to a boring old high school. I know you’re very smart and very intelligent gifted human being but you have to deal with these morons for a little while longer until you can make it to university then you don’t have to worry about any kind of bullying and stuff and I know you’ve been bullied for your problems even though the phantom at the time. I found out who is the phantoms war for you that caused your problems in the first place you’re fear of communists even though they were really outdated at your fear of a new killer war and your fear of terrorism I found that out through a book called shake hands with the devil you’re not alone in this world with these thoughts and fears. But as I said those three simple letters or three simple words I was going to make you get through this OK.
Still keep talking to your psychiatrist it might help you with your fight against whatever fan him you have I know his PTSD nowadays keep your chin up and keep doing chin off so if you can. Don’t run away from your problems just say some head on bravely it’ll be a lot easier on you than anything else at least you have a decent friend and nails who is a bit of an a hole banana less he was still a friend. I should think that you should try to continue with martial arts even though it’s not something that you’re too keen on it might help you with your mental health it might help US life as well as keep you out of trouble and keep you strong as well. And believe me you need to be strong if you want to be who you want to be in the first place think about what you want to do in your future there’s a lady at there’s a light at the end of the tunnel which is the goal that you’re going to reach hopefully you’ll go to the US and be an FBI agent and probably fight off your fears head-on. As I said don’t despair the future is going to come grass pad it as soon as possible.
And not to be cond to sending but try to make some friends if you can try to find out who you are in the first place as of origins and as of who you are in the first place try to find who you are find yourself and maybe my find your goals in life think about this. I don’t believe that you should be bullshitted because of peoples inadequacies particularly their mental disabilities meaning they’re not as smart as you the normal people I mean they are inadequate compared to you and they have been nothing but mean what shows their IQ more than the shoulder kindness and intelligence so think about it bad behaviour and bullying causes a low IQ and kindness get here somewhere in life as Dangar Hoover says it’s not the electric chair that Hass to be in years you could be the high chair choose a high chair and say I’m not talking about something that I baby sits in. If you choose the highway you’re gonna be a lot easier than going through fights and getting suspended and having a blemish on your permanent record.
I know a lot of people have tried to provoke you those first month of September 2003.
I remember yourself that aggression or subtle aggression or passive aggressive Ness is not gonna get you anywhere trust me I’ve learned this lesson so many times that you’re going to have more birthdays and I knew is the lock I’ve been having we’re trying to keep up the good work.
Remember the dream bag and dream bagger than taxes bigger than Canada bigger than Russia. That is the only way that you’ll survive these four fucking years.
Natalie
When I was able to to get my iPad to work yesterday I found some old writing that I never knew I had until know I suspect that this was from the when I was under another pen name! But I had to get rid of the pen name because of an idiot scammer trying to scam me! Moral of the store is don’t don’t fucking use google chata for any social needs that it’s I had to pay the price once when I though I had found love but the bastard was a scammer that being said I wasn’t to fall for that shit show again unit earlier this ear where I thought I was going to fall in love love but black mauled instead! That was a complete shit show to be completely honesty I did not like that person to be honest with you and she was the three studges together, if you don’t know who the 3 studges are I they were a funny set of brothers who kept getting hurt in funny ways you might find them on YouTube! You will know what I mean! They are classic!
But really finding my old writing from 2 to 3 years ago was good to me to find tithe writing that I thought was gone and some photos too! That was very interesting so I meantioned when of my writings too this. It is very very interesting drudging up the past not all the time is bad! Sometimes it is good to see the progress i made in my writing and to compare my self to then! At the time I just meet James at the the time but I had a scumbag boy friend whom I will not meantion, this particular jerk put me through the shit for 3 month that being said I hate this guy as I would be with James if it weren’t for him! That being said I still harbours some intense anger toward this guy! Because a lot of things would be different for me and a lot better had I not dated this genius! He was a cartoon supervillain who was in ordinary clothing …..a psycho path , and the worst there is charismatic! And then on my 34 birthday he said that he was a t*rrorist and a serial killer! What the fuck do I look like a priest…..no! And I am not a police officers that was going to arrest him! Talk about a shit birthday!
That is why I don’t date online nor go on google chats for fuck all, even if it is to call the ambulance for live saving help! No I rather not deal,with the drama! When I was going to start my real life relationship there I was afraid of taking risks emotionally as I did not not know what to except from James! I did not know for fact if he was a psychopath/sociopath or a cheater and for the first part of my relationship with James I could not trust him for my safety! That being said it took many bad days and such that until I realized that he was not going to do anything bad to me! So know you know that I was not in a good place at one point in my life because of what also my brother was acting like. And my mother’s death! My brother was acting like a complete asshole and at the same time I was dealing with my mom’s death! That was it good for anything! Even worse was the funeral was held indoors with a bunch of people who I really hated! And that is the truth! When I went to the tree service I found that it was easier on my mental health for the simple fact was that it was outside and they were people I give a shit about about in the first place! I find I am more nice to people I care about then the shitheads who bother me!
But it was interesting to see the different writing I did so long ago!
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