Thursday, August 8, 2024

August 10, 2024 late P.M.

 As I see that, how is more like a different kind of thing it is a poisonous desert for those who are first sinned! This is the majority of hell most people will be if they have screwed Showing Morris is poisonous desert where people will rise and the radiation this is where they will end up getting radiation poisoning, but will they die no they cannot because they are there for eternity. This is the first circle of hell I find that this is where you will find a lot of people who are either alcoholics or otherwise as I walk through this painful desert, I find that it is beyond the stuff that I have gone through both physically and emotionally !

I realize that the poisonous desert, most of it being radioactive, I find that it is disturbing on the last the hallucinations I have are the torture that you have to go through the fact that you have to go through this alone even though you’re in a herd of people, it is like a herd of turtles it is that slow when you end up, deciding to rebel the poison increases the radiation and you find yourself rising more in pain your organs Nail in the inside out you are now going to suffer for eternity in the first part of hell if you wanna know what this is gonna be like just end up going near a radioactive place, but this one is beyond radioactive it is poisonous to the soul as well as that the soul will melt as well there is no heat. There is no nothing you end up going through this mentally physically and spiritually as your soul your organs and your mind mailed from the radiation if you were to call at that.

when are you getting into the epicentre of the The poisonous hazard, the poisonous part the radiation will continue to go on in more intensity as you go into the centre of the desert. This is similar to the talk, Lear and desert or something where you’re not allowed to come back. But unlike the term or anything like that, you don’t come back for sure as a poison will infect your soul as Virgil was showing me around this waste of expanse that was the desert of poison as it is called. I find that there is nothing but toxic air and radioactive background and people rising and coughing trying to get out of this situation. If you would it was pretty disturbing on the last I wanted to cry I wanted to scream at the thought of  being in this place hallucinations from the radioactive dust and the radioactive ground, as well as the thought Breathing radioactive there was just horrible. I found this to be more than hallucinating inducing, but also it was pretty horrible nonetheless as it was painful and toxic to not just radioactive as I find that the people were going slow and slow like zombies I find that that is because they were getting closer to the epicentre of the radiation! This is why you are becoming zombied if you were these are for people who have screwed up, but So no Remorse, or did not want to change their ways, eat alcoholics, and drug addicts people that have screwed up, but didn’t wanna have to face the consequences of the actions or anything for that matter. They have hurt their families. They have hurt everyone around them and did not care too much until the very end when it was too late when this happens, you end up here in this radioactive desert, 

Where is Virgil likes to call the poisonous desert you end up going through so much pain And as this has been something that go through in real life, unless you’ve gone through Polygon Kazakhstan, but this would comparison to this poisonous desert would end up suffering even more you would not be able to have children that would have devastating problems as they would not exist because you cannot produce and hell! The desert, and then as you get closer to the epicenter, not only does the radiation increase, causing you to be more in pain, but then a swarm of wasps these wasps are extreme of files that are able to go and accept the fate that they have survived they will sting you. They will inject poison into you as well. It is kind of disturbing to be honest with you where this will last four days on and if there are days.  

The sky is a gray hazy sky, which is very disturbing. It has some sun, but there is not sunlight or a sun. It just glows. It’s kind of disturbing to be honest with you to see no sun or moon in the sky justice Erie glowing light as if it were just there for the purpose of scaring you, as you go through this intense radiation that will constantly intensely radiate into you!  So not only with your organs, melting your hallucinations, your mind, melting, and you’re so being corrupted for the last time you are also going to end up suffering from the fact that you cannot see night or day, as if it were sensory deprivation. It is kind of disturbing to be honest with you where you will end up in this Very situation the demons there are equipped to handle the radiation and the demons will hurt towards the centre of where you were going to suffer the most!  

Sounds intense. It’s just the beginning of the hell that you were going to go through. This is just the beginning the first can over the first circle. If you would, this is not a cakewalk either but the rest of hell is not a cakewalk. I will mention this many times that as you go through hell it is more toxic and radioactive as you would think this is not like Dante says is like a fire And lava and where in the ice there is gonna be night circle of hell no circle of hell would be similar to God knows it is a very disturbing thing to among scammer and situations where you cannot go and find yourself in a better situation you are therefore being radiated from the inside out while walking, and you are melting basically from the inside out this is just the beginning the first gate, the first circle of hell 

I find that I try to make some friends with the damned the alcohol alcoholics and drug addicts that really didn’t do very much in their life except ruin other peoples lies. I find that this is basically what they have to go through if they did not go through rehab and therapy. This is basically the idea that if you caused so much grief, this is the first circle of hell this is where you go as if you’ve done wrong and you have done wrong, obviously to deserve such horrible places!  

Some people have revelations in this poisonous desert. This poisonous desert does not seem forgiving and it isn’t because as I said, this is where you have Unforgiving and desert that being said, I find that I tour of hell already intense and the desert is too much for me to handle as I go through the situation. The hell situation is God awful and I find that it is pure hell the idea that this is just the beginning of the three starts of hell if you would!

I find myself trying to talk to people they moan and groan and pain, and the thought of being toxic not being able to handle themselves or their emotions as if they have been toxic for the rest of the lives. This is just an extension of the toxicity that they have gone through!

This is not the nicest place to go to the hell that is obviously true. I wish I was doing drugs or alcohol and fell asleep and had a bad dream when I think of this particular circle of hell but instead it is what it is it is reality I see Virgil at my side and I see that this is where you  Herded into A category depending on your sins maybe you stay here maybe you end up going to the different rounds of this case this is the worst I find for me. I wish this was intro A category depending on your sins maybe you stay here maybe you end up going to the different hell rounds of this case. This is the worst I find for me. I wish this was just an idea for me to go through that. It was just a nightmare!

” But no, this is not a nightmare !” Virgil says, as this was similar to the poem written by Dante I find that this is beyond Dante‘s idea of hell this is where you will end up in sheer pain. This is just the beginning of hell to be honest with you, the radioactive desert and the toxic air that it Makes you breathe. Makes me wonder if there’s any such thing as mercy in the first place I know I used to watch cobra Kai as a kid and when I did, they always talk about no mercy well that pales and care comparison when you talk about this idea of hell and this is just the beginning the circle the hell if you want the idea that you’re going to be forever and this hell scares me on the last and will frighten me! This is beyond the idea of the poem. This is beyond everything that I can think of this is the first Canto I wish I could change where I’m going to, but this is the first place that I go to in my spiritual journey. Is this idea of Cryptids herding people into the radiation is kind of disturbing to honestly see these peoples Zied by toxicity and radiation. The fact that their bodies are now heavily like the Cryptids that are scaring them into going into the radioactive center. I kinda don’t like the idea of this situation, but it is what it is the hell that you have to go through is what you have to go through in the end!


Afterwards in this horrible epicenter, that is the first circle of hell you end up seeing that you are going to end up fighting for the rest of your life trying to get out of this situation, but you cannot get out of this. You are forever in this for life and spirit and death this is what you have to go through!


I hope that I can get out of this situation but Virgil tells me it only gets worse from there. The idea that this is gonna be the second circle of hell coming up, which would be the court room I find is disturbing this court room. I need to know more about this but is not like any other courtroom I will tell you more in the next !




I wonder what kind of courtroom this will be if it has a 12 drawers or if it just has the people that have been damned to be the jurors in the first place, we will see in the next story when this comes up this is a very disturbing fact that you cannot go and see for yourself. The next Canto will be coming up the next Canto will be now as if this toxic courtroom will be what we need in the first place after this journey this Parelist journey I wish I never had a cake, but I chose to take in the first place !

as I am walking around this desert, I find that there is more to desert. That means there is creepy top of the different profits from the different religions that have been skewed in a spear, kind and surreal it all always very creepy idea of seeing all these people from Buddha to God knows who else was disturbing enough for me. I wanted to scream at the thought of this whole thing But this was gonna be a reoccurring thing and I was going to end up seeing this more often than not!


In the first circle of hell, I met the right brothers there. The right brothers were there for a certain reason that was of occurrence in September 11, 2001 as their particular invention was used in the attack that killed 3000 people for that they’re souls. The souls of the right brother have been put into limbo and will be Decided on a later date at the court room the courtroom had a toxic or around it not just the poisonous air, but also the toxic radiation from the ground! as the two brothers who were twins did something good for once hell is pave by the good intentions of other people in this case they had nothing but good intentions to create the airplane, but didn’t know what was the sinful part about the airplane about hijackings and other stuff, the right brothers ended up being in limbo they may end up in the centre of hell they may not for betraying the human race, said the demon ! The Demon was very adamant that the two brothers were going to end up in the hell in the either of the violent wasters or in the actual pit of hell the actual centre with Lucifer and the others when they ended up realizing that their fate was coming up the jury had spoken that they were going to end up in The centre of hell the last circle of hell if you were to call at the 10th circle, they were going through the Emotions of being traumatized they were going to be in with the worst of the worst was pretty bad for them. Did they just want to create something that was something that was going to be useful or was it gonna be deadly? They didn’t know until the judge who was also a demon said

” To the center, where the traders and others will be there forever you have created the worst treason of all 3000 people died because of your invention!”



they end up realizing that they were in big trouble then they just fizzled off as if like on Star Trek they would be beamed to another dimension. This dimension will talk about later the courtroom work like a normal courtroom, but as I said, there was Nats and flies and there were extreme files and other stuff like that were resistant and radioactive. This was what the courthouse was like. The demons were actually pretty well radioactive and toxicity resistant to anything! As I saw Orville and whatever his other brother’s name was being let off to a prison in the limbo of hell that was when I realize this was not a game for anyone this was someone who was going to suffer dearly. I have read the inferno many times and I realize that will end up becoming of them in the end. I will tell you more about that in a later time! But you were going through this court you were going through the spiritual trial, as well as some of the fact that you were going through Objectionable things like torture and other things this is what happens when you let 3000 people die about 100 years after your damn creation the judge also mention!

They were in this place all I know this place was. It was frigid like Arctic or Antarctic places if not worse as I could imagine what this would be the fact that they were flying in this wind would be horrible!   Let’s just say I didn’t need to tell me where the souls were going to be instead I found out for myself that through reading that was that the centre of hell was cold and icy. It was no different from sIberia if not worse The idea that this place was colder than Siberia got my brainthinking that maybe this was a certain place for the worse of the worst or the people that inadvertently created things that caused the worst of the worst havoc that being saidI was not happy about the whole situation I thought the right brothers were doing a wonderful thing creating the airplane and that 9/11 was just the work of illerate people! But then they ended up realizing in hell things are more retrospective. The airplane has been used for many times for hijackings and other things. This idea that the airplane was now a gateway to hell if you were damned you were damned for eternity. See you in hell, kind of thing Even if you worked Airline industry will end up in the centre of hell in a block of ice, deep or way, and you wouldn’t be able to cry for a reason I will mention the next time when I get to that part I know was the idea that.

the soul that was meant to go on trial was a unknown person. He was probably a serial killer. He would probably end up from my encyclopaedic knowledge of circles of hell sometimes if he include where the right brother were that this was going to end up in the violent was I could just imagine the 911 hijackers would be that they would be in the violent wasters as well if not orders because they did it out of religion it is a form of where they’re going to be violent was the seventh or eighth circle. I will mention more about that later, but anyways, so this person was probably a psychopath narcissistic, a real screwball of a serial killer in the violent was he don’t know what his name was. I’m not an FBI agent, but then mention the name, Ted Bundy! if anyone was going to be in a deep depth of hell, it was gonna be him because he was the one who was going to destroy most of the women and one city if I remember correctly now that I know the name, it was kind of disturbing to see the guy and he was like I know where I’m going, and I don’t give two shits!





after the next trial, we ended up walking around the poisonous desert again just to see what pits people were being tortured and it was as if like the ancient Egyptians were a few fall into a pet you get tortured. This is basically the same same kind of deal I don’t know how they were doing it. It was kind of unnatural to be honest with you, the torture technique they use were not of this world and I came from but then there was a magic to them as well instead of dealing with just a person cardinal and flick pain. There was trying to to inflict pain in the soul as well as the body it was kind of disturbing to be honest with you that there was magic involved with a torture. It must’ve been black magic some kind of a cultism that made people scream and scream for mercy. I ended up seeing the pets and then I was very disturbing to see the pets of hell! this was just limbo. I could just imagine how NSFW this was going to be for me to watch going to the different steps of how whether it be the limbo or wherever else it was kind of disturbing to see people get dismembered and then re-attached together and then cut up again. It was kind of that example of disturbing. It was like the nakra of the Buddhist religion, where they have hell realms! But also with the pets they ended up having puddles of water or what looked like water. I was going to stick my head in, but thought it was mercury but then I said well I am in the spirit world. I may as well just go and stick my head in and when I did, someone nearly tried to grab me someone who was from Another depth of hell!




I thought that the idea of going to hell was simply just pissing God off or pissing the FBI off either way it was the same kind of thing pissing the forces of going off by doing some thing completely deplorable, but when I see what punishments souls were going through I was wondering, what was the actual purpose of this other than the torment for eternity? Was there some form of interrogation or something that being said, it was very disturbing to see where certain souls were going to be in Lambo, which was the easiest part of the torture or depending on what they did how they did or behaved, they would end up in a horrible situation!

when I realize the screaming was too much, I put my head into another another puddle of water only the fine that there was someone trying to grab at my face as if to wrap it off. It was kind of disturbing to be honest with you to see what looks like a zombied goes come up and try to rip your face off clean off that is! as I was going through this, it was kind of traumatic, but I knew what I was going through and I was going through the tour of hell and volunteered for it. Not very many people get this chance you have to be chosen in order to be able to see the spirit world as it is when I realize this was going to be a disturbing situation for me if I even stepped my foot in Bodies of water, the spirits were going to rip me apart, and I would never be seeing again. It was kind of disturbing to tell you the truth. It was like the two towers of Lord of the rings just in the middle when you mentioned something about the puddles of the dead = spoiler alert for anyone who hasn’t seen Lord of the rings and I apologize for that. But it was this kind of thing when you ended up seeing this kind of creepiness and only hell can imagine you couldn’t imagine yourself even if you are historical proportions this was something that I could not imagine this was something no one could imagine not even Ted Bundy could imagine what he was going to do or go through in case!  as a realized when I was reading through the map of hell, this was still limbo. This was getting deeper and deeper. The torture were getting more as the times went on I wondered what was going on in my life that made me a chosen one to see this!




mentioned the genealogy of the prophets I did not think there was any more of these prophets after the third greatest world religion but then it was what it was. I was going to be a prophet!

as well I was going through the motions that I was going to be the fourth profit something that some people would think was sacrilegious. I didn’t want to think about this too much. It was kind of disturbing. I ended up trying to wake up from this horrible dream, but this was my reality now for the rest of my life, and this was where I was at the time taking the tour of hell to see where people go  when they goof up! it was kind of disturbing to be honest with you. The idea that people were being tortured for the most simplest triggering things would trigger the worst things for someone else if you triggered someone you have sinned in this case, I must tell you my story!





I was born in a war zone and was tortured by Islamic terrorist when I was just a kid I had a deal with a personal hell that I did not need to be in nor deserved. Hell that was called PTSD a hell that I wish I can share right away!  The fact was that I was triggered, but I did not do the triggering. That was what pissed me off that I was in the hell called PTSD idea that I was going to be tormented by the demon in my head I don’t know if this is caused by the demon in my head. Then I ended up hearing from Virgil


” everything happens for a reason and everything will happen for a reason until the day time ends,”




I wondered what the end would look like it would look like this if I could imagine it correctly I didn’t wanna think of it that way, but that was the end of time right there looking at me weathered being a pool of water pit. It was very disturbing to me that it was the idea that you were either in a pit of torture or you were in a grave just ready to grab someone to grab hold of their face and cause them pain as if it was cause a lot of pain in hell I found this very spooky the screaming was triggering for me as I heard this kind of bloodcurdling, wass cause a lot of pain in hell I found this very spooky the screaming was triggering for me as I heard this kind of bloodcurdling, unnatural screaming for when I was a young kid in this Warzone it was very disturbing for me to go through this again and as I said, this was just the first ring or circle of hell you couldn’t imagine what madness I will see next. What what the hell was going on in? Hell I did not know!




I guess there’s a reason why there is that keep me company but also to protect me as well as if he is my protective detail he was there to help me with many different things explaining what was going on and stuff like that in the first Lambo or the first Canto, if you want, this was what I had to put up with the idea of torture



This place, this part of the limbo was actually starting to look like The step therefore it looked like a grassland and everything else. It was kind of interesting that it didn’t look like a desert, but it was still very poisonous the air still toxic! Virgo mentioned something about the air being toxic because of the hatred. These people had spread out in the world nothing more than hatred to be toxic. This is more toxic than rice and which is the most toxic thing on the earth being said to breathe this was kind of disturbing the fact that I was attacked and uncaged was disturbing enough for me to deal with!  The toxicity that I had a to deal with I thought I was gonna die. I was certain about that for sure that I was gonna die because it was the same kind of treatment as rice, which I will give you pretty soon like you end up having brain damage and stuff, but instead of having the actual brain damage, you end up having brain pain, which was kind of bad to be honest with you. I’d rather not deal with any of this with the actual toxicity of the air was pretty disturbing. Nonetheless the ground was still somewhat radioactive enough to melt your organs enough just for you to feel the pain that there were no pets. There were bodies that were gonna drag you into another round of hell. This was what it was!

limbo was a very barren wasteland almost like the Eurasians step that being said it was more barren than that. The idea that I couldn’t walk any farther than I could, and I would still continue and stretch on with the vastness was very creepy. I think this was a form of torture I may have heard of human right thing where you end up just walking around until you die, which was disturbing, but the pain was pretty bad I remember hearing from the documentary that being said, I ended up realizing that the pain was going to get even worse, the radioactive going around, destroying my organs and the idea that I was going to be destroyed mentally by the toxic air and the idea that now I had a walk until I was gonna drop dead, but this was hell I couldn’t drop dead just right away!

This was a very Disturbing to deal with as I’ve never had to deal with just playing around for eternity. This was still Lambo obviously, but this was not a poisonous desert. It was not really much of anything if anything at all, except walking around and being tired all the time and having achy feet I know this sounds like like I’d be complaining but again this is the underworld. Hell if you were to call it that! there were no pets, but some people were walking, and her other people were walking alone, and they were just moaning at the pain of their feet and legs, hoping that it would end soon, knowing that it would never do so again just like that documentary that I watched this was kind of the same thing. It was pure torture and it was pure I thought this was the actual pit of the centre of it, but I knew the lukewarm air was different and his own way! I figured out that I couldn’t even get a horse. There were no horses and hell those were for the Cryptids. In this case the Cryptids were siren and other disturbing looking creatures, siren head, and other things like that that being said, it was very disturbing to see siren head as in the Trevor Henderson, creation come alive and destroy you by eating you alive if you don’t run or walk fast enough, it was as if this thing was trying to torture us us!

With its long, gangly arms, siren head was grabbing out people who were too slow and eating them alive as if to say fuck you I have been around a lot longer. He was eating more people as the time went on, taking them out of the misery I guess, but then I don’t know what his stomach would had to offer! So I was try to slow down a bit to see what his stomach would be like a very perilous move on my part, but I was getting sore feet and legs and I didn’t wanna have blood and this was what I had to do in order to survive walking was pretty bad Virgil said what the hell are you doing!

” I am going to see siren head,!” 



“ Are you kidding me!” 



“ No!”



Then he said well, I can tell you one thing that siren head stomach is another torture chamber that would be a lot worse than That being said this was not the human planet. This was gonna be another horrible experience as if this was already traumatic enough I said is it true that it was another torture chamber?

Virgil mentioned that it was an acid bath that you would certainly not survive you would be completely destroyed your soul to as well and I was almost like OK that’s it. I’m not gonna find out for myself as if this thing can eat souls as well as human flash, this was disturbing enough for me to realize that I was for the deep this time around! I had to get away from sirenhead’s Grab little hands or big hands in this case because I was gonna end up in an acid bath if I didn’t do anything about this idea that I was going to be sorry and had food and then my soul dissolved acid was going to be disturbing. nonetheless this was a new type of Lambo if you guess Lambo 2.0!  And supposedly there were other ideas, nine versions of Lambo that being said, I was disturbed nonetheless to see that siren head was running. You can hear the thud this thought he was hungry for my soul, And the breath smell worse than anything I can imagine worse than anything if not, Decom times 10 was pretty bad to tell the truth decomposition times 10 that’s what I meant yeah that that hearing smelling breath was enough for me to puke but I had to keep running, and my feet were getting increasingly sore! We had to get out of there was nine other things of Lambo. If you know what I mean, it’s kind of disturbing to be honest with you. The limbo that you had to go through was worse than anything then we ended up at a gate!

Checkpoint if you were to call it that big said the demon was not siren head, but it looked like it was wearing animal fur and an animal head. It was kind of disturbing to be honest with you. It looked kinda human with a human face . It looked female, but it was kind of disturbing on the last to see Where she came from She looked like one of the Amazon’s from the Greek mythology. The were a woman race of Scythian Women men, but this woman look more like a devil than anything else instead of a shame, and she looks like a dark side or the dark side or would be a charm, and who does evil in the world and congress of evil spirits in order to do what they want this would be called black shamanism look like a black shaman, or Darkside, if you wanna call them that a dark cider is the worst of the worst in the world, and that was disturbing to see her she had a moon on top of her head and she was covered in blood. It was kind of disturbing except for the animal pals that she wore the animal pals I wish I wondered what had happened to the animal, but I knew that this would be a triggering experience just to find out on my own or if I asked Virgil the animal pals where they came from!  But there is one thing about Angels They can read your mind and he ended up saying to me through apathy that they Were lesser demons that were ripped and then used as clothing these well Amazon if you were to call at that to hear what kind of horrible things to these demonic being that was!   This was similar to the cobra Kai karate kid strike No mercy, no mercy in this part of the world meaning the Lambo there was no mercy anywhere he said, but this was kind of disturbing that this would be similar to the idea that there was no mercy for anyone in this room, whether there be limbo or You were either gonna be tortured or you gonna be torn apart. It was kind of sad to be honest with you that this case this woman tore apart another demon because the demon angered her to know end!  It was a sidewinder demon. The demon was obviously going to keep up until she was going to gouge him out, but she ended up ripping him apart, sail Virgil! That was disturbing that women in this case were able to rip apart demons and Cryptids and use them and their clothing as well. It was kind of a disturbing case, demon on demon violence! more about this woman was that she did not look like a sturdy strong Amazon. She looked more emaciated as if she had an eating disorder or couldn’t eat for a days on and and or and it looked disturbing yet she had the power to wrap apart a demon or a Cryptid it was kind of disturbing to me, she said 



“ If you don’t move along, I’ll do the same thing and where your pelts!”


She jabbed the spear in my face as if To intimidate me saying I will go and dismember and use you as my clothing kind of thing it kinda was disturbing to be honest with you to see this. I didn’t wanna have to deal with this anymore so we ran away from the checkpoint and she started screaming. She must’ve been a banshee as well!   It got me thinking, as if I was doing a quiz in school banshees in the world in CentralAsia these banshees I didn’t know for a fact, if central Asia had banshees, but it looked like they had their own version. In this case it was kind of disturbing tell the truth!  Then Virgil mentioned something about the idea I was able to get away from sai, The demon apart and turn into her clothing the one that was named sai!   To be seeing so I was not exactly interesting so I ended up and it was not interesting in a traumatic sense. This whole thing was traumatic. I was wondering why was all the idea that this was continuing on the graphic torture that went on the fact that women were able to rip apart Cryptids and monsters and sirenheads and wear their pals as clothing Is going on in my opinion what the hell was all this but then again this was what it was hell! This was not supposed to be a cakewalk I thought, but This was ridiculous among other things. The idea that this scripted tearing woman will tear me apart as well. The idea that sorry the head stomach was a torture chamber. This was all too much for me to handle to be honest with you. I was ready to give up on the tour, but then Virgil mentioned something about me being a chosen blood. I said fuck DNA. I didn’t care at this point if I was chosen by DNA I didn’t care for it anymore. I was done with this nightmare this hell if you were to call it!

A place it looked like the evil part of middle sons around if you were to call it that this was kind of what it was. I didn’t want to deal with it anymore. There was no cone or anything like that. There was just nothing except for Crohn’s, who can destroy Cryptids monsters and demons. It was kind of disturbing to be honest with you. I want nothing more of this to be that was continuing. I want nothing more of this, and I already had a deal with be stubborn at times deadly sin in this case which was the idea of the pride being part of The seven sins, seven deadly sins, one of them being pride also a devil or demon mentioned something about pride comed before a fall. I was like OK that was Was supposed to be falling and then coming back up and then falling again was there some kind of idea that they were going to bash my knees and get me to not be prideful? I didn’t know what to think of this whole situation but it was kind To be honest with you, the idea that these demons would be you about the knees until you fall and then come back up fall repeat and it was kind of just aggravating if you asked me I couldn’t handle this anymore than I could out of this whole shit show!

  I started writing this book about Dante’s inferno at least my concept and interpretation of it!
 Still working on to this day!

August 10, 2024 pm

 I remember and this started when I was 9 to 12 years old, if I did my math homework subpar i was able to go with my father when he wasn't drinking his self silly that he would take me to see the neighborhood Christmas lights!  From past remembrance day to the New Year's Eve we would walk around looking at the Christmas light in the trio neighborhood area of Almonte Ontario, that was where I lived for 28 years.  Well when I went to see the Christmas lights it was a real treat and a half to be honest with you!  It was my happy land, if you would! Not the stipulation was that I was supposed to do my math homework but couldn't always do it correctly so if I did it halfway correctly or some par I was able to go and see the Christmas lights with my father father!   As we went out it would be like the gay pride parade rainbow for me as I saw all the different colours that make up the beautiful rainbow!   Now some houses were overtly decorated and some not so decorated I loved the one's that were overly decorated and I was able to enjoy the colourful spectacle but my father liked the more modest looking x-mas decorated houses!  I did not understand why at the time!  Still don't! 

I guess some people have more Christmas spirit in them than other people!  I was when to decorate overly if you know me on a very personal level that very few people would see; I have a lot of stuff in my room....copious amounts of dvds and books and music and musical instruments!  Some where in that room in my group home you will see that I have a steel tounge drum!


I guess I would be the zealous decorators that I saw as a child and would decorate my house to hell and back!  They why I loved it as a kid! In the fifth grade I remember going to the helipad at the local hospital, Almonte general hospital near the  (still is) the emergency department  I would see this blazing red star over the er!  I would with my father look at this spectacle after doing an hours with of stargazing and seeing different Christmas decorating that night!

I was staring catatonically, obsessively at the star over the er, that I lost track of time....

"Come on Elena," (that's my legal name) he would say!  "It's beyond your bed time and you have school!"


"Dang it!" I would say as I went back to the house!   At that time I could not swear nor use anatomical terms. ( this day I swear but don't use anatomical terms that people would say and make a doctor blush)



That night I remember it was very close to Christmas and I was sleeping in despite going to school the next day!   I was going to be late but I did not care at that time!   One I have ADHD and two crappy subject matter except for science and art!  Science was fun and so was art!  Math was a fart..... to me!


I remember at the end of the year 1999 to 2000 that we had year books! Under my name:


" there will be no math today if she has her way!"



Which I found funny and hilarious at the time but, still applies to this day!   I remember that one or many winter nights were my father and would see the Christmas light and look at the with aww!   As you can tell I still hate math!


Makes me feel good to remember these memories about seeing the Christmas lights with my father at a certain time in my life. It was very interesting to see the Christmas lights. I just wanted to remember those for what it was and what I had to say about it, that being said, I still hate math. It wasn’t exactly my favourite subject in school nor was it my strongest suit! Still isn’t as gauging my nose ring and I did so I thought it was an eight gauge, and it turned out to be four or two gauge in my nose, and it turned out that that was what it was and I got in trouble for it. that’s an example of how bad I am with math. 

I still cannot do math this day even though I have IQ 196 that’s the only number I know other than 2+2 = 4, but that is very sad to tell the truth that I cannot seem to wrap my head around this subject. it’s something I was never able to do. It was a traumatic thing for me in school to go through the math so when I remember my father taking me to see the Christmas lights it was to, reward me on attempting to do the math homework at least ! being said, I don’t really remember very much about the mass, but I remember seeing the Christmas lights and normal stargazing at the same time depending on the weather I like stargazing the most if you know why look at the title of this book and you’ll find out why I like stargazing I am a star seed and I’m not very good at math ! That being said, I’m writing person and art person to be honest with you. I’m more creative than logical never was Logical to begin with my father thought I was logical and tell me to use my left side of my brain, which was an impossible for him because he ended up getting kicked in the goodies On more than one occasion telling me that I’m smarter than a cry about something and then the next thing you know wham, he got it! If it is one thing, I would say not to kick your father in the goodies, no matter how aggravating the guy is. He was never always that aggravating when I was a younger kid, but when I became a teenager and adult, he was a pain in my ass, causing me a lot of issues and I would always get them more. It hurts. I’m not happy to say that, but he was starting to be a abusive person, and I was not afraid to kick him where it hurt the most because I am a feminist. I know I should believe that all genders are Equal, but when you go and actually start being abusive, then you end up, deciding you’re not of any gender you’re just a little kid who acts like a fool and should be treated as when you’re abusive !      And I’ll tell you after Christmas lights the last time we saw the Christmas lights and I ended up starting my monthly! That he was increasingly abusive emotionally and was neglectful as well emotionally as well. I found that he was not as good of a person as I thought he was so that being said, I am glad he is out of my life. I am not happy that he has dementia because no one deserves that demonic illness!  Literally, I think that’s why he became abusive emotionally was because of his dementia. It was the early stages. He was not acting himself. The real him was a nice man but not so real he was saying you’re better than that. You were loser and stuff like that which is not a good way to start handling a young girl that being said or any kid for that matter or getting a fight with your wife I.e  my mother. 

I don’t take an abusive anyone kindly and he was not exception!   

August 10, 2024


 I have been getting involved with the reboot of the show unsolved mysteries it used To be a show with John Stack, I think the guys name was but anyways it’s very interesting. They mentioned about the moth man which was very interesting for me because I watched the movie the prophecies of the moth prophecies for the thousandth time!  It wa Avery interesting did you see the take on the new moth man the fact that he has been around another place like Japan and stuff was very interesting he was around in Chicago which I found perplexing as well. Was the idea that he was in Chicago? Why was he in Chicago cause mayhem I think, but man was something that always perplexed me other than siren head!   Is a creature thing it’s very interesting. You have to think about the idea of this thing bringing prophecies, but I don’t know if other people would believe it but personally believe in mothman  as I remember the first time that I ended up watching the movie, I had a nightmare about him. It was not a PTSD nightmare, but it was still a nightmare on the last it may as well have been a PTSD nightmare! Mothman Is there an Eastern European entity That has made its way to America over the Cold War. It’s very interesting to see where these creatures will come from different cultures and stuff like Sasquatch probably was from the idea of the yeti…… and stuff like that! I find these creepy pastors about their different crypt and stuff are very interesting. I also enjoy a lot of talk about the wendigo!  I even wrote a story on the wendigo!  It was fascinating the idea of the wendigo psychosis!  And the idea of the skin walker!

The Skinwalker and the one to go are similar when someone’s has been corrupted morally they become these creatures or so is the idea of the want to go in the Skinwalker. The only thing is one that goes algonquin and the Skinwalker is Navajo but other than that is the same thing, the man eating humanoid beast that will come and attack you at the Worst times of your days, whether be at winter or whenever the hottest days of summer depending on where the location of the cryptid is! I personally like the Wendigo because the idea of the Wendigo is based on seasonal effect of disorder. Something that I have I can’t stand winter to be honest with you. It is something that really does correct the soul I must tell you is the idea of wonder time, but I also heard and this might be the skin walker version of the crypt dead, which is where summer can cause the same thing seasonal effective disorder that can really corrupt the soul as well and cause you to not be happy to be angry to be depressed and stuff and you can be very susceptible to many things when you are going through this rough time I think these are seasonal Cryptids as I find the crypt that I don’t think you would see in spring or fall, but you would find only in summer or winter, depending on the culture and location of that culture that being said I find that the wind goes psychosis is basically  the seasonal effect of disorder gone wrong!  And I am assuming the same with the skin walker!

But according to math, you have to be greedy or really corrupt in order to become a Skinwalker or a Wendigo this is case you cannot be mentally ill. You just have to be sick in the head like a psychopath or sociopath to be Cheating on your wife or girlfriend would qualify you to turn into a skin walker or one is very interesting indeed where one slept off and you turn it into this creature or entity is very interesting!


Find creepy pass very interesting and creepy pass is something that keeps me sane from day-to-day especially when it is winter time so I don’t end up with the wind to go psychosis I’d be the first non-north of American to get it, but it would be  horrible to figure out that the winter would make you a violent person and stuff like that according to some maths in North America I find that this is what is very interesting is creepy pastor the idea of siren had being an urban mass and a practically real you were to believe was caused by war we in World War I all the way to Vietnam and the Balkans being said there have been sightings with siren head who has post traumatic stress disorder I have been the first person had seen Sirenhead for three times in a life time! some people say that siren head is just some freaky art that someone did well I believe more of the war weary mind that has created the urban myth. The artist only created popularize. The siren had in my opinion and only made it more popular with the non-PTSD community that being said I find that it is something you will only see if you have post traumatic stress disorder or if you believe if you do believe then siren head is really real and he will be there for sure but I think it’s a matter of believing and not believing that really clenches in the first place the same thing with the Want to go and Skinwalker that being said I find these are very interesting. You don’t have to be of these cultures to be believing in the one to go or the Skinwalker that being said you just have to believe that these paranormal things do happen I find that this is what makes things in life Multi facetted in life!


The only thing I would confirm so I don’t believe in is the religious profits as I find there have been not very much proof of them, but the idea of their being a heaven or a hell I find there’s more of a heaven than a hell hell is what we make our life to be in my opinion and heaven is reality I fine if you choose to think that way, also I find that the paranormal sometimes helps keep  people sane! For example, I have seen many ghosts of my mother or the ghost of my mother many times in my life that being said, I think she’s just there to check up on me to see if I’m OK especially around her time of passing and entering the spirit I find that that this time of year she is around a lot to see if I’m OK I’m coping or not. That is an example of the paranormal helping you feel better about life and help you feel better about things that you would think about and stuff like that, I find that it is important to go and think of these things is very creative way to think but it is for real these energies as I said, I went to a haunted house last week ended up finding out that demons are real it is what it is, but I don’t think there is a devil. I think that is created by man but Demons I think do exist, I know I keep going on and on about this god damn house but it is what it is! And I find that these are the things that help us either stay sane or they break us, depending on what they are and our reactions to them!

I love watching stuff about the paranormal. My favourite paranormal spot would be the Casa grande domes or they were there at one time until they were destroyed. I don’t know when they were destroyed, but I was really messed that they were. They legends have it that they were abandoned obviously, and that people were using this for unsavoury rituals, and that there was demonic energy and activity going on and these domes and stuff like that. It was very interesting. I would’ve liked to have seen it see if it compared to last week !

Also, I started a photography blog on Tumblr. I don’t remember what the name of it is but it is very interesting. I have 12 followers. Yay so I’m happy about that. Probably more read this!

August 9, 2024 late pm! (Update)

*Quick update*

So some one of my friends family wanted to show their pet bunny!  And so I went out to see the bunny it was quite cute! And it was painfully soft!  I loved seeing this rabbit!  The rabit’s name is luie and I wanted to see this bunny for my myself as people were saying how cute it was and stuff!    And so I show you the bunny……

August 9, 2024 p.m.

A Symbol of Fertility and RebirthIt is believed that by immersing oneself in water, one can be spiritually cleansed and purified. Similarly, many cultures also see water as a source of renewal and healing, believing it to have the power to cleanse away negative energies

What does water symbolize spiritually?
Water, a symbol of purity and wisdom, allows the human body to function, embody its true essence and heal. Enjoy water's energetic power by creating a transformative experience that heals the soul, nourishes the body, and awakens the spirit!
Found. Some books in the free little library near the pool I found this very interesting as I found so e books most were true crime and FBI thrillers and one erotic romance (that one I will surely be reading).  I like going to the little free libraries as I enjoy books sometime (most of the time) better then tv or movies!  The true crime book was about Ted Bundy, a real asshole who hurt and killed 3+ woman!  I found that when you hurt or kill woman that you are worse than covid19!  At least that virus has some integrity for not killing everyone but Ted bundy never had integrity!  I am must say that …..I know enough about serial killers and other (un)interesting people that make up society and sometimes the worst!  I found that serial killers like to use trauma as an excuse for their shit  behaviour!  While I actually have trauma and I would not hurt a fly unless it was a dear or horse fly as they like to bite!   I don’t like things that but!  But that is my stance on the whole situation.  Also I am going to start my arsenic club book soon!  It will be interesting to stray from erotic romance for a while and I pretty good with erotic romances as it is entertaining to read and write!  In be between love scene you are to pick the brains of the characters!  Which I love to do and there for make other characters!  I also like write eroticromance off the tasteful and senseual parts instead of making it raunchy I make it tasteful and readable for the 18+ aged people on the planet especially woman!
I am a woman but I am also gender fluid woman as well!  I have a different take on who I am I realized that when I was going through a meditation and mindfulness phase and realized that I did not feel comfortable identifying as just a woman….that I was gender fluid female too!  That means express as non-binary but I also know about the fact that at the end of the day I am biologically female!  Sometimes I have a girlie phase but the are few and far between!
In my idea the can be third genders and most of of third genders a most likely to be starseed and shaman!  I am both as for one I belong to the polarian star system, and I am third gender (gender fluid female) and a shaman, to be exact a baby shaman!  I study the shamanism of my ancestors the Siberian and Mongolian shamanism that was the original shamanism!    I was also on my first life on earth was an Inuit shaman during the ice age!  When people were making the decision to go across the land bridge to Canada and USA!  My ancestors stayed in Asia until the dawn of the three great religions! And moved west word to Europe and Russia!   There is a lot of folk lord between the altai mountains and the Pontic steppes that was were I was born was the Pontic steppes where the amazons came from and went easterward to Central Asia!  I found that when I had my DNA tested that I was of these ethnic groups the most east would be Tibet and Xinjiang!  It is quite interesting to tell you the truth!  I had a feeling that feel in those groups when I was younger!   I would read and trace my lineage through library books and then when the suspense was too much I got my spit test!  That was when I decided that shamanism is more important to me then other religions, though I respect other religions too!  I think that people should be more respectful to one another as this will help things be easier for everyone!



I am not able to play baseball this summer because of the simple fact that my ex-boyfriend would be there and he would cause a lot of problems for me!  Since being I that shit relationship I found that my anger was through the roof and I could not handle my self…..if people were thinking that I was not fair to the cheating bastard then they were wrong as I was forthcoming!  When he cheated I decided this was not fair  for me!  And hothead fact that I told him not to talk to me because I was pissed …..he still approached me with out caution which drove me in sane to be honest he will never learn!  I wish  that there was a yelp for boyfriends and girls friends so peop”e know who to date and who not to date….and this bucket of brains would be a no star review as I have met his exes and they had nothing nice to say about him!
“I have dated James before and he was a psychopath!”  When of his exes told he!  She was not happy that I was dating him!  But she was also looking out for my best interest by telling me the review of their relationship!  I must admit I will be saying the same about him like Laura did to me because he was an asshole!  I wouldn’t recommend dating him if I was a straight female or bi!  In fact this he was the reason I became a lesbian! I don’t like lying and cheating that guys do.

The idea of dating a guy would be worse then death I would not like it to be honest but that is my polarized thinking at it’s best!  I might for give James but I will not give him a good review of there was a yelp for lovers!  That being said!  Enough said….i can not play in the special Olympics for the simple reason is that he will drive me more insane then Ted bundy - remeber that jacksass!  I don’t want to be like that so I’d rather avoid James!



James was not a good person!  I think he was dark triad and over all an horrible human being. That I rather not deal with ever again!  I remember when someone told me about karma and asked me if I believe in karma ! Well I do because if you do stupid shit= you get stupid shit!
You  do good you get good it is as simple as that!  Most of the people who pissed me off are not having a good time in life and it is the universe balancing things out!  I find that it is a nature form of justice and a more reliable one than the courts!
The legal system can screw youiver more then one time in life and it did with me on many occasions!  As for the wrong doers in my life!  I call them out and I just for get them….as if I think of the asses and bad behaviour it will take up too many calories and I need my calories to stay good looking!  



September 24, 2024 a.m

Sorry to not have written in the last while, as I was first getting ready for a tattoo it was a shattered with the white part in the black p...