September 21, 2024 a.m.

Woke up from my strange dream. The dream was that my childhood neighbour hood was being torn down for for a super high way and soon everyone had to get out of there homes to find somewhere else to live! It was kind of strange but I did not know how to process it so I woke up and enjoyed some yogurt and that was it!  Then I watched some family guy! The Seth Macfarlane show, it  sucking funny to be honest  I was happy that one of my friends wanted to watch it the other day!   Very funny I enjoyed it more than anything else. There is another show. I want Dr. do I am now watching about how people die and some of the ways that some people die are idiotic to be honest with you! Oh, I love yesterday writing a story for my writing contest so that being said, it was very interesting to write the story and to partake in the writing contest the only downside with that writing contest is that my name will not be mentioned anything just kind of sad, but at least my work will be out there!   I was told to contest is a contest that I wanted to write when someone mentioned it to me that being said it was very interesting to read what the rules were. Let me show you what the rules are!

• Must be written in English

• Maximum of 2,500 words (no minimum); Title is not included in the word count

• Formatted in Arial or Times New Roman, 12 pt, double-spaced.

• Title page includes: author’s first and last names, mailing address, email, age category of entry, word count

• Pages must be numbered

• Author’s name must not appear on the manuscript or the file title

• Story title is included in the header or footer on every page

• Submitted as a MS Word doc (.doc or .docx)

• Submitted story must be previously unpublished, must not have won any previous awards, and must be an original piece written by the applicant

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  Also the prices are : $200 per category*

  A prize will be awarded to the winning entry in each age category, as determined by a guest jury selected by Almonte Readers & Writers.

  The winning entries will also be shared publicly. Details forthcoming.

  
  

  
  

  
  

  That being said that is the contest and it’s very interesting that it is local being said the local contest was exactly on. Wattpad was still in contest, so I decided to give it a go anyway it’s kind of interesting to see where the where I written about caged ghost will go to in this case, I posted on Wattpad a couple of times. That being said I have a collection of short stories That I might be publishing one during that being said that’s what I do instead of just feeling sorry for myself. Sometimes I just write writing is a lot better than some things. Other people can do that could be negative.

  Writing for the contest last night, and I love and enjoying the spoils of my labor, which would be a good fashion feeling good about myself and writing lovely story about ghosts being caged, particularly the operations of their faces that being said, it was very interesting. The last to writing about that in the first place! When I think about writing it helped someone with PTSD and me my overall mental health! I like writing as it helps with melancholy to other stupid and destructive emotions like anger and what have you!

I don’t know what I’m gonna run about for today about a short story. That being said that’ll be something that I will have to think about at the time being I might write a short story about the screaming heads that I may have wanted to see or still want to see that being said I don’t know why I worried about them and how they came about and stuff.!

That being said I know, the background about the screaming heads and how they came about that being said, maybe I might include that in the story I might do that one day that being said the screaming or something that really interest me! I wanted to see them many times every time I go on Facebook there they are from Burkes Falls and it’s very interesting to see you. Wanna see them for sure in real life and see what they will come up with in real life what they will be like once they will look like in real life. I seize it wouldn’t love any different than it would now on Facebook but a lot better. That’s why I like to go on Facebook sometimes it’s not social sometimes that is the case, but sometimes it is to look at things that are interesting though there is been some giblet has who have been writing about animal abuse and that just burns my hide as I don’t like that for one bit!  Psychopaths some people are and that I cannot stand is that idea of the people not being. Kind to othesrs nor to other other living  things!  Does a dog deserve the same respect as a human!?   Yes!!!  But that is just me!  That is just an example of why we have the screaming heads in existence I think if we are not kind to each other nor other things that this planet has to over then The planet will rebel against us and the planet will take back. What is it in the first place that being said I find it kind of sad that people don’t get that idea right away that you have to be kind or two people and animal as well as the planet!

The idea that people have posting their stuff on Facebook is kind of triggering for me, but not to the point where it’s gonna make me aggravated, but I’m not for me to wanna report and block these Giblet heads for what they have done to these animals and then start talking about cars as if nothing happened that being said I’m not not gonna say very much more about that except I wish people would be more respectful to other creatures on this planet well except for germs that is one thing I can stand is germs and I would obviously post pictures of me killing germs and cleaning that being said  that is a different story! In the dream I had lists night It was very peculiar to be honest with you want to see this dream it was kind of huge to be honest with you. I am wishy-washy what I talk about, but I can’t really say very much except that you had a live and a communal house. Not like a group home, as this place was dirty and group homes are clean! That being said, it was kind of unusual dream to have last night. I didn’t think very much about the dream. It is unusual and strange, but it was not to the point where I was gonna wake up, shooting myself out of bed and trying to get myself the heck out of bed and out of Dodge, if you know what I mean! Some times I have night terrors but this wasn’t one of them it was just a strange dream none the less!  What do I hate about the dreams was there were several families living together and that was what disturbing!

Right now I’m watching a show that I don’t really like not on my iPad but on the TV as I don’t like watching kids stuff that being said, I’m just gonna be quiet about the whole situation something I wasn’t interested in as a kid. It certainly wasn’t gonna be something that I was interested When I was a kid. I was interested in superheroes, anime and more interesting than Woody the woodpecker! Yes, I am a nerd. I will always be a nerd. That’s how I am for the sake of who I am. I’m just gonna be enjoying superheroes and anime and stuff that is more interesting for the life of me because that is just the way I am!   As far as my child is concerned hasn’t really grown up very much or change as I still have a huge child being said I only enjoy the good stuff that being says old cartoons that were from the 50s are not my cup of tea never were that being said I would rather watch Superman or something of that effect or the borderlands borderlands were a good movie to be honest with you that I saw and I wanted to again, but it would be too much money as it was in theatres ! Money is Pain in the ass! And it always well be!  That being said I am not much of a movie buff I like books more than anything else to be honest with you!

September 20, 2024 pm

This afternoon, I ended up having a nap unexpectedly as I was trying to watch Doctor g medical examiner. That was kind of annoying that I fell asleep. Out like a light at the time. That was not my intention of launching the program. I was trying to watch the program because it was entertaining and educational. I like entertaining and educational things. That being said, sometimes my body just wants to go offline at some point is kind of aggravating.To be honest with you, that my body would do that to me that it would just have a nap in the middle of a good TV show.It's done that with Family Guy.It's done that with a lot of other t.V shows that I watched that I don't game boring. But that I find was very unusual. It was kind of unusual. Ly happened again last night as I had a very action-packed week. Let's just put it that way that the week was pretty packed and it was pretty interesting to see some of the emotions that I was going through and some of the emotions that I found out. I never really had particularly emotions towards my past.....I never had ptsd.  And that I guess was a good thing as I went to see a psychiatrist and he said that I just was normal but had to do some stupid DNA test for the odd reason.   My he is a perfectionist too.       That being said I don't have PTSD which is good.  

After that I ended up going to the library to see what the donation books were like. I ended up finding a book called bear town. A book that I've been wanting to read for quite some time. I read the second bark. I wonder what it was called, but I'll see what it is. I think the next Book I read in this particular series was called against us that being said. That was a book after the one I am reading now, which i read before. It sounds like the old song. I'm my own Grandpa being sad. I don't know what that song is really like. Except is very complex so I read the second book before I read the first book. So this is the first time reading the first book of.  Bear town trilogy and then there's the winners which is the last of the Bear towns which is very interesting for me to wanna read.But they keep saying on libby that it's too long. That

Being said I still wanna read that book for honest to god's sake would be the winners and then I would be Caught up on the bear town trilogy and I would be able to say that i've read the bear Town trilogy and that I would read it again and again.Because I would have had it for the rest of my life.The idea that I was able to find bear town What is the stroke of luck for me? Because I never thought I would find that ever before in my life. Except on Libby that being said, I didn't think I'd find a Free physical version of the book. That being said, it was very interesting to read the beginning of the better town, which was very interesting. The actual beginning is just the character's introducing themselves and stuff. I do enjoy reading books. I find these are the best ways to find knowledge and entertainment. Sometimes you're gonna find them in movies. Sometimes you cannot but sometimes it's usually better off in a book that you find the good stuff.

Also I found that I was able to go and find a bunch of other books that I Wanted to read. One was part of a series. But I still haven't found the first book of that series which is kind of aggravating but at least I found better town a couple of other books that seemed interest in on the last quite a few books. I must say that I found yesterday and it was very interesting.

Some are more fictional books about stargazing somewhere about other things. It was kind of interesting to read. I'm trying not to read murder mysteries or mystery books as they are not good for my mental health, I don't know that's just what it was said and I find that is The Truth, as murder mysteries tend to put me to Sleep at the Best Of times or aggravate me at The Worst of times I just can't stand mystery books that being said I was able to find none mystery books.

I am starting to think that the mystery books that I was reading were the cause of my dismay as I ran them for most of my young childhood up till now.A good fifteen years wasted in a nervous breakdown which I thought was ptsd  but really it wasn't the case.

Other than that, I ended up going to my old Hometown where I ended up seeing some kind of cage like acting with masks of people's faces on it. It was very interesting. I will show you in the next post about that. Reason why I was in my old Hometown was because I had a dentist appointment. It was paying free for the most part this time, but in this case.  I ended up with 3 cavities which were not fun. I didn't even know I had the 3 cavities. I thought I only had a one if at least nothing at all.   I never was wondering if I tried well?I tried to clean my mouth and not foul language was but I just tried to clean my My mouth out as best I can with brushing and stuff, but it can't be a little dawn in my car so I don't know what 3 times a day. It's very interesting how that is a lot better to do it during each meal. And she where that will take me.

So I'm kind of on the trying to clean my mouth out kick.It might affect my language as I might not be swearing as much.It might affect not my language because I do have a chronic party mouth.I've been sad that is who I am.I'm always been a cusser at heart.

The reason why I was a swearing person as a person that likes to swear is because when I was in kindergarten and this is what I really remember was in the middle of winter it was about December 24th I still have school. They're not there and you're gonna manage to have angry. I was at the kindergarten detail for doing this to a student. So, my parents let me swear in the field behind our street that being said, I'd like to wrap out a lot and let everything flow that had to be said and motion and said, I never really like my kindergarten teacher. To be honest with you, and that's where my language of foulness started in the first place was kindergarten because one kid.  Ended up having one hell of a party mouth before I caught window the word motherf* ker, Obviously. There was a limit to my swearing, but my mother tried everything with the language from toothbrush with toothpaste. Toothbrush was soaked to everything else in between to. Mad teams coming to my house to clean my fucking mouth out.     

It started to settle down after a while and then when I was 12 years old it started up again. I don't know why but just did. I couldn't keep control of my language and start swearing. And I had to get it out of my chest. And that's why I swear all the time, but that I guess is the reason why I have the 3 cavities metaphorically. The other reason is because well I try to clean my mouth and it's best I can but I cannot do the best. I'm not Superman or superwoman or Wonder Woman. So that being sad I can only do as much as I can with my trap.

Also I haven't been able to write a lot because I've been writing to pen pals.I started going to write 2 pen pills to see where that will take me. Hopefully, I will make some friends. I already made one friend who suggested making a bracelet for me. Lapping so that I'll be very interesting. Indeed. But I have enough curiosity as it is, but it would be interesting as he won't be necklace or bracelet. Would look like in the first place. So I ended up asking her for her address. I have to use another address because of a security problem. That's just part of this way when I was in my.  Mental health group on time. I ended up meeting someone who was just fresh out of prison and that didn't go over well..... One did not go over well with you as well.So that being said, I'm not really looking forward to going to that group ever again and I hope I don't like to be wish you were she about anything but maybe I might be wish you are she about this and see you from there.It's kind of interesting that Group was good at 1 point and then it became boring and I ended up having to do a lot of doodling and the dude lying that was what became a habit for me. I like doodling a lot. It's very interesting. I've done a lot of it over the past month. Haven't done it smart. I'm a Doctor that much of it lately. Because I've been either sleeping in or writing the pen pals.   The idea of writing pen pals through the mailbox. Or snail mail is something. I want to keep alive just like my throat singing. Or whatever else I do this is something I think is a dying. Art and should be preserved if possible. Because this is important for me to do so. My kids are able to do this. I don't agree with texting or calling people. I'd rather write to a person.  And letter or meet the person person if I can't meet the person in person like in a letter and that being said, be done with it. I don't believe in texting or calling unless you're bleeding and ready to die.

I've been said there's a lot of security problems with texting.I find texting is not very good because the person can track you down with your phone.Whereas with your being worth a man purse or something that can't track it down for you're in front of a damn person. That being said, I've had many stalkers from Texting, for a long time, one woman was A TSA agent Who threatened to torture me one time that being said. That's why I don't like texting and I'm very particular about texting. That being said, I don't like texting and just texting on them. Than on my phone and texting.....a wast of time.

September 17, 2024 A.M.

Well, I'm awake. I'm happy to say that my iPad is still on charge because of the night terror I had last night that being said that's kind of annoying, to be honest with you, that the night terrors are constantly pain in my butt. That being said I ended up watching a bailey sArian Who does murder mystery makeup Monday? S are very good YouTube talks. And I enjoy watching the shows up being said. I've find that the people that she Talks about usually don't have a brain in their head. Particularly serial killers and criminals do not have a brain in in their head. They are kind of stupid. To be honest with you, I don't like using that word but anyways, that's what they are. The shoe fits where it kind of thing.

 That being said, I find these people are not compatible for a Human Brain and art of Pain society's butt.

Most of these people are what I call tasty's or people that are trying to go about having a mental problem, but they do not deal with it in a healthy way or they do not choose to deal with it in a healthy way. Obviously this makes them a tasty. In other words, a psychopath, I can't stand these kinds of people. But they're very interesting. To hear about, but they're aggravating in real life. I must say that I have met a couple of them in my life. Now I know how to find out where.  And when they're gonna come up as if I am a psychiatrist but I'm not. I'm just someone who's trying to go about their own life and healthy way. What's that being said? These people do crop up out of the woodwork? They're annoying. To be honest with you and I wish they would just disappear these psychopaths, Apollo, instead of making perfectly good people disappear. They should disappear themselves that being said. I don't like to say that about other human beings. But as I said, if you're gonna be dumb enough not.  It was your brain or choose not to use your brain in this case.I don't think you should really be seen or heard.  Like I have known about the dark triad traits since I was about 13 years old.Not just from crime, but also because of personal experience with these dingbats.Or giblet heads.   That being said, there's a machiavellion in them as well as psychopathy. And narcissism, I have met a lot of people with these few trades, and these few trades have been a pain. My butt for a long time, that being said, I've dealt with them throughout my childhood throughout my high school years and in my early 20s, these fake friends that I've had that. I thought were my real friend's one girl was named Taylor she was completely dark triad And then there was alrx.Someone who was really a pain my Days miserable and my niece even more miserable. In the eighth grade, there was also a guy named Christian Cameron who was not a very good person either. He was kind of a mean-spirited purpose. And I think he was Mackie a valiant and narcissistic. It's kind of sad that these people are that kind of way. But I don't know if it's because there's trauma making them fake a drama or that they end up being just jerks in the beginning of their life. But I think the latter is more of the same is that you're a jerk when you're born, you're not a jerk.  When you're born depends on how your parents raise you. It doesn't matter how you've been treated or what had happened in your life. Is how you are raised? That makes people idiots in the first place instead of trying to deal with things more constructive and more creative. Instead, some of these people were pretty aggravating.

But yes I do enjoy watching bailey, I like being able to see which is brainless. Wonder of the 2 weeks as she has a 2 week periodical on YouTube that being said, I like to see who the idiot of the 2 week says that being said, I wish it was once a week instead of once every 2 weeks it's kind of interesting to read or watch these things that she does. Her make up at the same time.  About makeup. I must say that I am starting to see the feminine side of myself instead of being just known by an area. I'm starting to lean towards the feminine side of who I am. It's kind of interesting. To be honest, I wanna see what I'm gonna be interested in. I already started in with nail art with my friend. Who got me interested by doing my nails? That being said, it's very interesting. How a tube if lipstick and   set  of nails will do you just well?   Like I said, I ended up just wanting to get some magnetic. Nail polish as well as what I call a finger roller or a nail lamp for my nail polish. It's kind of interesting. To be honest with you, the idea of doing your own nails are having a friend to do your own nails when you're not as patient. That being satisfactory interesting. I cannot go to the salon because I'm always at the tattoo. Parlor which is a good thing, because I'd rather be at the tattoo. Parlor getting a piercing or tattoo instead of going around.  Having something that would be fake and not real of my ancestry, at least with tattoos.And piercings, I am honoring my roads and ancestry.And using my real nails that are usually very sturdy.Nails are very good for this kind of thing where I don't have to go to the nail salon which is very interesting.To be honest with you, but I'm really like to be able to have faith nails once.But that being said will that ever happen?I don't know.

My nails are not as brittle as the mind of a psychopath that being said, it's very interesting to see how my nails can't be broken unless you really do something stupid to them and it like a car crash or something, but I've never been in a car crash. So I rarely break a nail lapping. Said it's very interesting to have these long perfect. Beautiful natural nails that I can use for nail large and not have to worry about applying a nail lawn.  That would be fake. That would be that being sad. It's interesbing, just see what nature will bring to you and stuff. Also I find this is very important to try to use what you have naturally. Whether be a Manchester or culture for me, tattoos and piercings. Or the idea of using your own nails instead of.  Just fake nails but if you like fake nails that's o k too.

I just wish I could use fake nails once.But then they'd be like 2 inches long with my normal nails as well.So that would be kind of aggravating.So that being said I just use my normal nails.

But yes, I do have some nail art accessories.And nail polish ready to go for amazon on the first of october that being said I can't wait for that day and see what will come about of that and see if I can make my nails shammer and a particular and peculiar way.

If you haven't known who I was like, I am more of an Artried person Than anything else, I find that I might be More of a tattoo restaurant.A nail technician 1 day as well as a ask satyling author either way, I like create vinyl style.A lot of creativity is very important for your mental health.I find and I do a lot of creativity instead of Feeling Sorry for Myself.Just been that way since I was four years old when my mother gave Me The first set of water colors I've gone through more water colors in my life.I'm still trying to find my current water.Colors , which is a pain in the bot , to be honest with you.

September 17, 2024 early A.M.

 I thought I had a good night sleep that wasn’t until I saw that my iPad was ripped off the charger yet another night terror my iPad is now at 8% which is a pain in my ass to be honest with you the night terror was not exactly about t*rrorists, or people being stupid, but instead, this was about my boyfriend cheating on me as you can guess that that was not the best streamed to have and I ended up having a must’ve had a thrashing moment and ripped the iPad off of my charger. That being said that was not my intention for this time I’m getting mighty sick of these damn night terrors, some people call him night horror some people call him nightmare but I know what they are night terrors Because of the simple fact that they terrorize you are at night and you end up laughing and destroying stuff in the middle of the night, this is not the first time the fell off his hinges or that I broke something in my sleep, trying to aggravating, or I lost an earring to be honest with you my third and second earlobe on my left ear could’ve been the result of the fact that I had a bad night, terror and the damn thing was ripped out of my ear, causing me to have three earlobes two on my left ear and my right ear that being said that was not what I wanted these night terrors half to go! for the simple fact that they are aggravating and they do nothing more than a piss me off than anything else. I find them to be and annoying for me and I’m getting mighty fed up with them. This is great now my iPad is at 9%. at least it’s charging, but this is a pain in my ass for sure. I don’t know why we end up having to sleep. It’s a pain in the ass to be honest with you. I would like to be able to just be cold and not touch anything when I sleep but then again that is a different story on the last I wish that was a case as I said, I think I may have said this and I’m going to see a psychiatrist and hopefully this will put the end to the goddamn  night terrors that I’ve been having these things are not fucking fun to be honest with you!

I am sorry if I am, but this is requiring foul language. PTSD is my favorite See you next Tuesday. You can guess what the word is there! I’m not gonna say the actual word you can guess what it is. I don’t like PTSD I don’t like having night terrors. The only thing good about PTSD that I’ve had to deal with was talking to celebrities and also have post traumatic stress disorder like Thea van seijan! And those kind of people are pretty good and learning about different celebrities and stuff they’re talking to them. I wish I was honking your horn on this one, but that’s the only good thing about PTSD is that even other people that might have cloud society that male also have PTSD!  When I was talking to the friendship, there was going pretty fast. I was actually pretty happy that I was talking to someone who’s a celebrity one of my favourite singers who happened to have PTSD that being said I was able to talk to her and we were able to exchange PTSD stories and we became fast  friends! She is the one saying bloody samurai and other songs that are very interesting. She has a very interesting voice that being said so thinking I’m bullshitting you I used to have the Instagram account that’s where we would talk on Instagram she would not ask for money that was long before scammers were around to pose as celebrities and what not and ruin your day. That being said it was very interesting to see that that was about the only good thing about PTSD.!

Other than that, it’s a pain in the ass I’d rather not deal with. It’s a pain in the ass and I can’t stand it to be honest with you. I can’t wait to see the psychiatrist so I can get whatever I need done to fix this 35 year-old fuck up that is my brain!  Also, last night, I also have another beef, which was the fact that I tried to look for the northern lights in my backyard and saw Jack shit. I don’t know why, but I never saw the northern lights is triggering to me that I cannot see the northern lights and when I go on Facebook, I see posts The northern lights in the area I’m in the Ottawa area so that being said I should be able to see the fucking things, but I don’t and it’s kind of aggravating to be honest with you. When will I get to see them? I will never know but it’s kind of annoying to be honest with you that I cannot see the northern lights and that I am kind of aggravated. I only saw the one time when I was about 22 years old after my grandmother passed away. I ended up seeing the northern lights and I guess it was her way of saying I’m still around  being said I never saw the northern lights ever again after that and it kind of pisses me off that I never saw them again!

That being said, I wish I would start the day on a better note and I will now at least I had a more rest and sleep, but I wish I did not thrash around in my sleep when I have these goddamn night terrors asleep was actually pretty good on its own except for the night terrors, which I did not need!  There are four things in my 35 years on this planet that I have to squat to about to a psychiatrist one of them being the goddamn PTSD the other the damn night terrors dissociation I had that happen once and then of course, the fucking anger that I usually have that comes after these incidents I don’t exactly enjoy getting angry. I don’t enjoy dissociating when I have a Crappy day being said it kind of a shit show and it’s gonna stop or be cleaned up. It’s kind of aggravating to be honest with you. I just hope the day will be a lot better than my goddamn sleep and that I can actually go and enjoy the night time tomorrow when I clean up my bedding and clean  Myself after basketball yes I do have basketball tonight. That being said it’s very interesting. How that’s gonna turn out the basketball I’m on the fence about because for the simple reason was last year. I kept thinking my boyfriend was cheating on me which was a delusion and disassociation that I had which was not exactly my cup of tea , I was being very wishy-washy about the basketball something I have to learn about learn a deal with I mean in order to not blow my stack as every time I want to basketball last year I kept blowing my stack over. The stupidest thing would not dissociate would end up blowing my stack last and it was not good for my mental health being said I wonder what this year will bring I’m kinda nervous about going to basketball because I’m afraid that something will fuck it up for me! That thing would be my brain and I know for sure it will be my brain for sure because it always fucks shit up for me anyway!

Also, did you know there is an emotional check in with your new iPad if your iPad is and this sounds like a fucking commercial but if it’s iOS 17 or later, you can actually check in with yourself emotionally with these emotional logs and they have these nice flowers and stuff that’s kind of very interesting to be honest with you I’ve had a couple crappy days and a couple more good days. I think that being said I should show you these flowers are very well pieces of artwork!

September16, 2024 late p.m.

Today I went to the recycling centre and found some books as well as some jewellery that I’ve been wanting to get for the long time particularly bracelets! That being said their silver bracelets are very interesting. Indeed do have found as well as some other books that I was planning on reading and then I am going out for a drive with a friend today. That being said we also want to charity shop IThat being said they’re silver bracelets are very interesting. Indeed do have found as well as some books that I was planning on reading and then I am going out for a drive with a friend today. That being said we also went to a charity shop. I found my favourite movie one of my favourite movies I should say, which is contagion!  They’re being said that is a very good movie but spoiler alert at the end. They like to blame the bats for everything!   That being said, I am a bit of a bat person I enjoy looking at bats are cute. I wouldn’t want to go near one, but they’re cute but anyways and they’re one of my spirit animals as they are very family oriented and stuff said a book on spirit animals! That being said, I remember having the dream where out of nowhere bat came and I said that was my first spirit animal that I saw I have about 24 spirit animals in my culture. It’s OK to have 24 spirit animals. Where is in Canada usually or in North America you only have the one is Cory, I learned about this one time when I was getting my second tattoo, which was the planet Jupiter for my mother as I used to call her the Jupiter pearl that being said the tattoo artist and I talked about Siberian shamanism! It was very interesting topic and as much as it is the more spirit animals, you have the more likelihood of healing people and helping people with their journey and life and death as well. It’s kind of interesting to be honest with you to see this and it was my culture that has the multiple spirit animals!

Back to the movie, it was About a pandemic something similar to COVID-19. It was very interesting to see the different places is getting a fact that it was very interesting to learn about diseases. I remember when I was in my 20s I’d be reading books on BSL 4 agents because they were fascinating to me! And still are!  Basically a BSL 4 disease will kill you not questions asked!  One being the Virus and the virus is kind of interesting to read up on these different diseases and stuff. I enjoy learning about different things whether it be germs or whatever else can be touched by the human mind. I will learn about it just as long as it’s not too smarty. I decided that Smart stuff is not for the average people as in dirty stuff like I just don’t believe in that kind of thing like 50 shades of gray you can’t learn very much from that except the nasty stuff I Find!  I find that learning is a life adventure!  As for the movie I would recommend this movie if you find it on a streaming service or on dvd!  I saw it on dvd, in theatres and on Netflix! Very good fucking movie!  

I also found some books at the reuse centre they looked like good reads but epic as the some were 1000 pages but they would be considered chick lit!  I don’t you read or watch chick stuff!   But something had happened that made me want to see the more feminine side of my self!  I want to wear lipstick and also do nail art now!  Why because one of my friends did my nails for me !  It was actually a lot of fun!  So I am ordering some stuff on Amazon that are nail are related!  Meet my third addiction, nail art, not just tattoos and piercings but nail art! And the best thing about being Altaic is you have the right nails for the art form!  Also it will be a week until I get my 7th tattoo!  One that will be on my throat!  This should be fun!   And then later on in the year my nostril gets pierced!  I am aiming for the other nostril next year or when I have money!

That being said I am a miser, which means someone who likes to go and hold their money as much as possible as long as the opportunity to spend it doesn’t arise that being said I’ve been very interested and saving my money. I almost saved quite a bit of my gonna say how much!  But anyway I have enough left over for Amazon!  To be honest it was because I am sooooo fucking stubborn about things!  The ultimate goal is to go to a music festival and see a band play!  That being said!  Also I want to started my own band, I know the name for it!  Moonfire, sounds like a 007 movie but it Because the moon affects my mood as well as I am very trans by seeing the moon it is a very beautiful side, but sometimes the moon especially a full or super moon will fuck with my emotions! Because why!  I am an empath!  An empath is someone who can read other peoples emotions that being said I am not something that is out of a Star Trek or something that is Science Fiction. This is actually a true phenomenon on that actually happens with some people that they actually do feel other peoples emotions and that is very interesting, but the moon can affect their moods at times and I am no different from that. Don’t know how many times I had to go downstairs because the full moon was just so full or it was super super moon, full moon, and I’d have to go downstairs to go and quiet myself down just to function. It’s kind of obvious at the moon is a pain in the ass! But beautiful at the same time!  So moon fire will be the name of the band, because moon - the moon and fire -rage!  I think it will be more indie rock then anything else but I will have to see when the time comes!

Also I stopped using the Libby app, because I have tooooo many other books to tackle at this moment!  

September 14, 2024 p.m.

  Dear Natalie 

“The cure for crime is not the electric

chair, but the high chair.”

J. Edgar Hoover

I know there has been some people that have been up on the high horses and causing some problems grief and drama in your life but I don’t despair if you think about the FBI’s motto fidelity bravery and integrity you might find that life will be full of positivity instead of negativity.  You have been through a lot do you 14 years and you’re going to continue to go through a lot but if you continue following these three words fidelity bravery integrity then things will come out smelling like roses instead of like poop and I’m sorry to say that. I know this is your first day at high school by trying to think of it this way that is like going to the FBI academy instead of going to a boring old high school. I know you’re very smart and very intelligent gifted human being but you have to deal with these morons for a little while longer until you can make it to university then you don’t have to worry about any kind of bullying and stuff and I know you’ve been bullied for your problems even though the phantom at the time. I found out who is the phantoms war for you that caused your problems in the first place you’re fear of communists even though they were really outdated at your fear of a new killer war and your fear of terrorism I found that out through a book called shake hands with the devil you’re not alone in this world with these thoughts and fears. But as I said those three simple letters or three simple words I was going to make you get through this OK.

Still keep talking to your psychiatrist it might help you with your fight against whatever fan him you have I know his PTSD nowadays keep your chin up and keep doing chin off so if you can. Don’t run away from your problems just say some head on bravely it’ll be a lot easier on you than anything else at least you have a decent friend and nails who is a bit of an a hole banana less he was still a friend. I should think that you should try to continue with martial arts even though it’s not something that you’re too keen on it might help you with your mental health it might help US life as well as keep you out of trouble and keep you strong as well. And believe me you need to be strong if you want to be who you want to be in the first place think about what you want to do in your future there’s a lady at there’s a light at the end of the tunnel which is the goal that you’re going to reach hopefully you’ll go to the US and be an FBI agent and probably fight off your fears head-on. As I said don’t despair the future is going to come grass pad it as soon as possible.

And not to be cond to sending but try to make some friends if you can try to find out who you are in the first place as of origins and as of who you are in the first place try to find who you are find yourself and maybe my find your goals in life think about this. I don’t believe that you should be bullshitted because of peoples inadequacies particularly their mental disabilities meaning they’re not as smart as you the normal people I mean they are inadequate compared to you and they have been nothing but mean what shows their IQ more than the shoulder kindness and intelligence so think about it bad behaviour and bullying causes a low IQ and kindness get here somewhere in life as Dangar Hoover says it’s not the electric chair that Hass to be in years you could be the high chair choose a high chair and say I’m not talking about something that I baby sits in. If you choose the highway you’re gonna be a lot easier than going through fights and getting suspended and having a blemish on your permanent record.

I know a lot of people have tried to provoke you those first month of September 2003.

I remember yourself that aggression or subtle aggression or passive aggressive Ness is not gonna get you anywhere trust me I’ve learned this lesson so many times that you’re going to have more birthdays and I knew is the lock I’ve been having we’re trying to keep up the good work.

Remember the dream bag and dream bagger than taxes bigger than Canada bigger than Russia. That is the only way that you’ll survive these four fucking years.  

Natalie

When I was able to to get my iPad to work yesterday I found some old writing that I never knew I had until know I suspect that this was from the when I was under another pen name!   But I had to get rid of the pen name because of an idiot scammer trying to scam me!  Moral of the store is don’t don’t fucking use google chata for any social needs that it’s I had to pay the price once when I though I had found love but the bastard was a scammer that being said I wasn’t to fall for that shit show again unit earlier this ear where I thought I was going to fall in love love but black mauled instead!  That was a complete shit show to be completely honesty I did not like that person to be honest with you and she was the three studges together, if you don’t know who the 3 studges are I they were a funny set of brothers  who kept getting hurt in funny ways you might find them on YouTube!  You will know what I mean!  They are classic!

But really finding my old writing  from 2 to 3 years ago was good to me to find tithe writing that I thought was gone and some photos too!  That was very interesting so I meantioned when of my writings too  this.  It is very very interesting drudging up the past  not all the time is bad!  Sometimes it is good to see the progress i made in my writing and to compare my self to then!  At the time I just meet James at the the time but I had a scumbag boy friend whom I will not meantion,  this particular jerk put me through the shit for 3 month that being said I hate this guy as I would be with James if it weren’t for him!  That being said I still harbours some intense anger toward this guy! Because a lot of things would be different for me and a lot better had I not dated this genius!  He was a cartoon supervillain who was in ordinary clothing …..a psycho path , and the worst there is charismatic!    And then on my 34 birthday he said that he was a t*rrorist and a serial killer!  What the fuck do I look like a priest…..no! And I am not a police officers that was going to arrest him!  Talk about a shit birthday!

That is why I don’t date online nor go on google chats for fuck all, even if it is to call the ambulance for live saving help!  No I rather not deal,with the drama!    When I was going to start my  real life relationship there I was afraid of taking risks emotionally as I did not not know what to except from James!  I did not know for fact if he was a psychopath/sociopath or a cheater  and for the first part of my relationship with James I could not trust him for my safety!  That being said it took many bad days and such that until I realized that he was not going to do anything bad to me!   So know you know that I was not in a good place  at one point in my life because of what also my brother was acting like. And my mother’s death!  My brother was acting like a complete asshole and at the same time I was dealing with my mom’s death!  That was it good for anything!  Even worse was the funeral was held indoors with a bunch of people who I really hated! And that is the truth!   When I went to the tree service I found that it was easier on my mental health for the simple fact was that it was outside and they were people I give a shit about about in the first place!  I find I am more nice to people I care about then the shitheads who bother me! 

But it was interesting to see the different writing I did so long ago!

September 14, 2024 A.M.

When William and Elisa find themself in love for the first time after being friendemies they fall hard for eachother but  will it last when there is a serial killer on the Loose in their small town! That will through a wrench in eachothers' plans, both as a couple and for eachother! Elisa is a young woman who doesn't think very much for her small town and the only guy to date is William, who is a loud mouthed shnook!  He is a nerd and she a goth!   But will the serial killer come after them!   Will they find love in eachother and find the killer!

That is what my book is about but if you are wondering, that is the first book, I decided to do that being said it was very interesting to see I might go for the wattys as well because It is an original idea. It’s very interesting. I came up with the idea myself. The idea that can be friends is very interesting. I never thought of that dynamic stuff so that being said that’s why I wrote and I plan on writing more books in this series therefore it will be very interesting. Is a love-hate relationship in this case with the characters are very interested about that and yesterday I created my first social media site. Yeah I created my self a social media site. Hopefully people will join being said that’s what I’m doing, I spent most of last night when I was not asleep doing this serve and promoting the site!  That was very interesting! The side is called the goth corner! Basically about anything that has gone it has to sfw As I will not allow nudity or anything else like that, I have mentioned that many times, but that is basically it and I basically enjoy creating social media sites, but I wish people would be more aware of them at this time!

Creating things There’s a lot easier for me to deal with than let’s say having to take my pills or something, but I do take my pills that being said it’s very interesting to see. I’m trying to work on my polarize thinking which is something that is very hard for me as I’m a star seed that being said is very unusual not to have this school of thinking, but I’m trying to work on it for the betterment of not just my relationship! I also find that if you try to work on polarize, thinking things will be a lot more easier than said. It would be a lot easier. I think it would be a lot easier if I would just try to see the greys and the world a different shades of gray, not referencing to the 50 shades of Grey novels, which need to be sanitized! Fifty Shades of Grey novels I think should be sanitized and some conditions because they are pretty raunchy dirty and I read them before and they’re just like you’ve gotta be joking me kind of thing.

Yes, I don’t mind certain books that are colourful but the Fifty Shades of Grey novels I find were too much for me to handle or they were boring. Either way they are smarty, dirty, and pretty terrible and I think they could’ve been written A lot better I don’t know why people made a big hubbub about the 50 shades novel. I haven’t tried the movies, but I dare not to because I would have to gauge out my eyes just to get away from the sex scenes. That being said it’s very disturbing and that’s why I want. I decided to create a social media site not I like a profile by an actual site I say no nudity allow!   That being said if you show that kind of stuff online, I finally get into a lot of trouble with society and the specially societies underbellies, but I don’t have a better note. Let’s talk about my trip to Burkes Falls five years 4 to 5 years where I end up going to see the screaming heads I’ve been very interested in trying to see them for last time on Facebook as they were mentioned on Facebook and I said well I gotta see this one time, but I also mentioned one day that I did write a letter to the artist of the reaming has it was very interesting indeed I would be very interested in finding out if he would write back I will let you more about that one day but anyways it’s very interesting that the heads came from the same thing that I was flagged with PTSD that someone also had  prophecy something I wish I can say but I cannot because of the mental health system!

That being said, maybe the artist was in a similar situation as I was at one point in his life where he couldn’t void his prophecies that big said, prophesies the COVID-19 pandemic also the war in Ukraine and other goodies that are going on in the world right now the same with him that we can avoid all this if we just try to get along with mother nature, as well as with especially with each other as well that being sent plan to be nice and kind to one another instead of being a shitbox! That is what the artist is thinking! And also what I think about life is a lot easier to be kinder to one another than to be BM, a shit, a turd, mean 9r other terms for a jerk!  Both to each other and to the planet!

Now do I believe in the four Horsemen I don’t know, but I do believe that the artist of the screaming heads was on the same as well as I was when I had the dream five years ago I remember having my first prophecy when I was 30, and it scarred the shit out of me!   Basically it was a terrifying experience and then I when I woke up I say the angel gabriel Standing at the foot of my bed!  It was equally Disconcerting, I wish I could find a way to convey my prophecy with out looking like a nuttcase!

 The idea of doing art to convey a message which will inotherise make you look cocos coco puffs is better the saying it writing or with your damn mother as people with think you crazy!  That is what I hate about society is the fact that they are judgemental exclusive, and sometimes are paying the bud. Society only wants you to conform in a certain way if you don’t, you’re in trouble if you don’t follow its rules which I’m pretty good at following the rules, but the kind of forming you getting in trouble as well. It’s very interesting and very aggravating that you have to look a certain way act a certain way in order to be accepted in the society. Well with that effect I say that is not true. In my opinion you don’t have to have anyone’s approval on how you look , how much you weigh or way your skin looks or whatever else it is ….just be you!

I wish people would understand that more than it really isn’t submitted by approval of the midnight society or by society in general it is submitted for Approval and I’ll be happy with what I do that being said it’s really you that you have to please more and take care of more than anything else that might sound narcissistic sometimes but if you wanna be a good person and a kind person, you will take care of yourself first before you take care of anyone else that is something I have learned and group that you don’t edit your self,  and putting your self first isn’t as bad as society thinks it is !  That being said , I wish society would touch grass and move on from people who are different looking and get over it!

People like morning glories coming all different shapes, colour sizes and patterns. It depends on the person and what they wanna do with their body and life that being said I don’t believe society should be looking down on, so I wonder who has tattoos or piercings or might have funny hair, colour or anything of that effect because it’s just not fair to Society as well it’ll be looked down upon by the  “outcast” too!  

Touch grass!

September 14, 2024 early A.M.

This is what I had to deal with since two days!  You will see that it started off innocently and then turned into this:

Last night was a pan my ass as I was trying to resurrect an old Apple account, I’m not gonna tell you what is but anyways I was trying to resurrect the Apple account and I ended up pulling out more hair than anything else already don’t have enough hair on one so I’d because I shaved that side of my head, but now I have two sides of my head that are equally as short because I kept ripping my hair out because I was so aggravated what happened was I could not create a new Apple account because every time they knew they would want money the next thing I know I was trying to get my old one back up and was being a pain in the ass again trying to deal with this situation at hand really I was just trying to find a way to get my old account ! Then my iPad did something really ridiculous with my help of course because it can’t do things on its own. That being said I was locked out of my iPad for 24 hours. It was a pain in my ass. I also when I went to bed last night that stroke a midnight. I found that I lost my phone and I just dissociated! I do have a lot of trauma in my life, a lot of PTSD and some dissociative that being said that associative showed up yesterday as I couldn’t remember Jack all! That being said was being stupid and I was too proud to admit then I finally realized that I needed some help and had to talk to someone there association was that bad and I wanted to break my iPad because it was disobedient. let’s put it that way. Just try to make it more funny than it already Isn’t!  So I went to bed that night and I fell asleep in a uneasy sleep then I decided I’m gonna use the misbehaving iPad to find my phone trying to get an apple account made another one just to hear the phone ring and I snatch the phone from the floor I don’t know why I didn’t look at the goddamn floor And then I fell asleep. Maybe something was going right for once it is Friday the 13th after so it does mean things are gonna go wrong and soon enough as far as my emotional state was concerned there’s gonna be a full moon if you ever want an excuse for my behaviour that being said, I was very annoyed about everything and I didn’t like the idea that I could not do anything at this time. It was starting to drive me a little bonkers and it was more than if I was threatening to break my iPad yeah that was a very charming night to be had. There were other behaviors. I will admit to, but I don’t wanna start a blog on the wrong foot! I had to deal with Then this afternoon, the iPad decided it was gonna work with my help as well just like it decided not to work with my help. It decided to work on being better as well as with my help to do so that being said it’s kind of strange that these things can actually Sense your mood I don’t know how it is, but it’s just that case it’s kind of strange to be honest with you from last night. I was angry and then the second I was at peace it Finally worked!   So ends the saga

What bothered me was not the fact that my iPad wasn’t working or that I didn’t find my phone until later on it was because I was practically being a total dork to the other people I live with it was kind of embarrassing that I wasn’t even on the same race as because I was so barbaric some of them say I wasn’t as barbaric as I supposed to be barbaric, but it was pretty awful and I wouldn’t wanna wish this kind of shit on anyone! That was part of my new Space blog that I was doing in fact, I was writing about that as disobedient iPad!  That being said, I was not exactly excited that I was being a barbarian. Let’s put it that way. I think I was more barbarian than someone who is destroyed or anything or someone who was dissociating. It was just me being an ass at the time and that was the worst part of it was the fact that I was being an asshole to other people, that being said that shouldn’t of happened I’m doing something else now to help myself mitigate that but as I said, it’s gonna be a long time before I can trust myself because I just blew my shit all over the place practically if you know what I mean I got in trouble. I got angry. It shouldn’t have happened. 

Now I know what you’re thinking that is that I now know what it is like. I used to have a funny feeling that I knew what dissociation was where are you having that break from reality and stuff gets too much usually brought on my trauma or other mental illnesses in this case with lucky old me, it was trauma, and I would like to blame a few people for my trauma, but I’d rather not even go that far, let’s just say the mastermind of a certain day and September were the same masterminds for my traumatic events in my life. That being said, I wish I was horseshitting  you on that one.    As I was tortured by people who were very on savory, you don’t wanna be tortured by anyone but that’s what happened to me as a young kid and then I was bullied in school and then a whole bunch of other crappy shit just happened to me. it wasn’t exactly an easy life, but I would do it over again if I had who hasn’t made who I am, but I don’t like PTSD and association! As I feel like sometimes my brain is playing tricks on me or is farting!

What is dissociation?

Dissociation is a mental process where a person disconnects from their thoughts, feelings, memories or sense of identity. Dissociative disorders include dissociative amnesia, depersonalisation disorder and dissociative identity disorder.

People who experience a traumatic event will often have some degree of dissociation during the event itself or in the following hours, days or weeks. For example, the event seems ‘unreal’ or the person feels detached from what’s going on around them as if watching the events on television. In most cases, the dissociation resolves without the need for treatment.

Some people, however, develop a dissociative disorder that requires treatment. Dissociative disorders are controversial and complex problems that need specific diagnosis, treatment and support. If you are concerned that you or a loved one may have a dissociative disorder, it is important to seek professional help.

Symptoms of dissociative disorders

Symptoms and signs of dissociative disorders depend on the type and severity, but may include:

• feeling disconnected from yourself
• problems with handling intense emotions
• sudden and unexpected shifts in mood – for example, feeling very sad for no reason
• depression or anxiety problems, or both
• feeling as though the world is distorted or not real (called ‘derealisation’)
• memory problems that aren’t linked to physical injury or medical conditions
• other cognitive (thought-related) problems such as concentration problems
• significant memory lapses such as forgetting important personal information
• feeling compelled to behave in a certain way
• identity confusion – for example, behaving in a way that the person would normally find offensive or abhorrent.

A range of dissociative disorders

There are three major dissociative disorders defined in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5), published by the American Psychiatric Association, including:

• Dissociative amnesia
• Depersonalisation-derealisation disorder
• Dissociative identity disorder.

Dissociative amnesia

Dissociative amnesia is when a person can’t remember the details of a traumatic or stressful event, although they do realise they are experiencing memory loss. This is also known as psychogenic amnesia. This type of amnesia can last from a few days to one or more years. Dissociative amnesia may be linked to other disorders such as an anxiety disorder.

The four categories of dissociative amnesia include:

• Localised amnesia – for a time, the person has no memory of the traumatic event at all. For example, following an assault, a person with localised amnesia may not recall any details for a few days.
• Selective amnesia – the person has patchy or incomplete memories of the traumatic event.
• Generalised amnesia – the person has trouble remembering the details of their entire life.
• Systematised amnesia – the person may have a very particular and specific memory loss; for example, they may have no recollection of one relative.

Depersonalisation-derealisation disorder

Depersonalisation disorder is characterised by feeling detached from one’s life, thoughts and feelings. People with this type of disorder say they feel distant and emotionally unconnected to themselves, as if they are watching a character in a boring movie.

Other typical symptoms include problems with concentration and memory. The person may report feeling ‘spacey’ or out of control. Time may slow down. They may perceive their body to be a different shape or size than usual; in severe cases, they cannot recognise themselves in a mirror.

Dissociative identity disorder

Dissociative identity disorder (DID) is the most controversial of the dissociative disorders and is disputed and debated among mental health professionals. Previously called multiple personality disorder, this is the most severe kind of dissociative disorder.

The condition typically involves the coexistence of two or more personality states within the same person. While the different personality states influence the person’s behaviour, the person is usually not aware of these personality states and experiences them as memory lapses. The other states may have different body language, voice tone, outlook on life and memories. The person may switch to another personality state when under stress. A person who has dissociative identity disorder almost always has dissociative amnesia too.

Causes of dissociative disorders

Most mental health professionals believe that the underlying cause of dissociative disorders is chronic trauma in childhood. Examples of trauma included repeated physical or sexual abuse, emotional abuse or neglect. Unpredictable or frightening family environments may also cause the child to ‘disconnect’ from reality during times of stress. It seems that the severity of the dissociative disorder in adulthood is directly related to the severity of the childhood trauma.

Traumatic events that occur during adulthood may also cause dissociative disorders. Such events may include war, torture or going through a natural disaster.

Complications

Without treatment, possible complications for a person with a dissociative disorder may include:

• life difficulties such as broken relationships and job loss
• sleep problems such as insomnia
• sexual problems
• severe depression
• anxiety disorders
• eating disorders such as anorexia or bulimia
• problematic drug use including alcoholism
• self-harm, including suicide.

So you see what I had a deal with I’m not trying to make any mistakes or excuses for my fucking behaviour that part was on me but what I still wish I knew what was going on in my head at the time that was so innocent and then turned into Shitting piece of crap like that I couldn’t even handle my own emotions or anything like that I was threatening to break my iPad stuff like that it was not very good. I had to wait hours and hours to get my iPad back up and running again because it was just a pain in my ass. Let’s just say I had A lot of  Notifications and they were saying that I had too many codes that were causing me to slow down the process of getting my iPad back up and running. I think that is karma telling me that I am fucked for what I whatever I have done I don’t know what I did, but if it is something I did , I would recommend that you acknowledge it before it invites you in the ass that’s what I think 

This bit me in the ass many times I didn’t know what to think about the whole situation. I was kind of mad and aggravated with you not wanting to do what I wanted to do and then I lost my phone all hell broke loose from there because I didn’t know what the fuck to think about the whole situation instead I blew my stack, whatever was going on was blowing my stack through that being said I would not suggest doing this is not a good idea to lose your shit to the point where you can’t remember why you lost your shit and why you lost your temper and stuff like that that is, what disassociation is I literally felt some kind of  Amnesia if you were to call it that like I didn’t know what the hell what where I was I just was like what the fuck am I doing and why am I not doing this properly? 

That being stated, it was not my cup of Joe to go around and start getting angrier and angrier by the day, our man, and then to the point where I was desperate to go to the hospital to get help because I was like really spiralling out of control I don’t like having to say these things on my fucking blog but instead this is what I was dealt with From some jackass in the sky, who likes to make fun of you by saying ha ha you can’t do this right now and stuff like that. It’s kind of embarrassing that I did this to the fellow human means I lived with more or less lived with that being said, I’m more embarrassed and ashamed than anything else. 

I was not exactly happy, but when I got my iPad running, I was still uneasy about my feelings and my emotions. I didn’t know what to think about the whole thing I was dipped. Let’s put it that way and I didn’t know what to think about the whole situation. Usually, when this is the case, I’m usually happier than a pig and shit and I don’t have to worry about anything like this, but since this was whatever was going on my head, not making any excuses again it was embarrassing for me to realize oh shit I could’ve been fixed if I was more patient  or stuff like that it was kind of embarrassing to be honest with you. I did not like this. 

Then there was some of my friends home that caused me a lot of grief as well just trying to get home was a paying my ass because I wanted to touch grass. It’s a nerd saying but actually it is true that you should touch grass when you are going through. Any kind of trouble or if you’ve been on your electronics too much go outside and touch grass if it’s in the winter time, find something else to do like a happy light something ground yourself. I wish I knew about this a long time ago. I know my friend from the US has mentioned touching grass many times and that is very interesting. I just thought it was just a nerdy saying saying well that person was crazy or something or was not in touch with reality but instead the idea of saying touch grass is actually very important to me because you have to literally if you’re an empath or a star so you like me  or an indigo I think that this is more important than going around with your iPad in your hand all day. You have to touch the grass I fine and yesterday afternoon before I rolled around on the grass like like a little kid and I fell a little bit better, but I still couldn’t process the fact that this could’ve been all avoid!

That being said, I was able to see a science experiment Of embarrassing for my friend who was doing a science experiment that being said I’m not in school anymore, but this person wanted to do this for fun supposed to be like a geyser, but ended up being a slower than molasses and stuff like that. I was very interesting. I kind of wanted to laugh at the whole situation, but I didn’t think God, but it was very interesting. Not the last to see this happen. It fizzle out of the bottle and stuff like that I was supposed to be for Mouse wash or toothpaste for elephants and it was obviously just like that toothpaste for elephants. It was kind of interesting to be honest with you so the day was not complete. Total shit as I thought it would be as I said I mentioned that I saw that it was very interesting. I videoed it and while watching the video on my phone  That I took the video with I ended up taking pictures or screenshots of the video and it was kind of interesting to see the situation happen and then about and then kind of still keep going when I was touching grass at the time. This is kind of interesting to be honest with you  to see this !

I am also going through the emotional to say twilight as the moon is getting fuller by the day by the time I see end of the weekend it’s supposed to be pretty full, which is gonna be very aggravating for me. I wanna have to clench my teeth lot of people say that people who are light workers shamans as well as, people who are empath are the ones are gonna be hit by the full moon and I am Exception, in that fact, as I said, I have dealt with a full moon before, and this probably may have caused my problem. I am not sure, but this is basically what it was was there as you can see the moon was full or almost close to being full and I was like son of a bitch you’ve gotta be kidding me after The hellish day I had I went through wanting to blow up the moon, but I ended up hearing from YouTube that the moon is actually disappearing or going away from the earth grasp. I feel this would be a lot better than having a deal with Moon is gonna fuck with your emotions as you are 90% water that being said the moon is gonna fuck with your emotions and matter what you do about your life that being said, I did not enjoy seeing the moon, but I enjoyed taking the picture of the damn thing, but that was about it , a very powerful presence not a good way sometimes because it can be very negative emotions and And very aggravating to deal with it makes you worse than you really should’ve been. The moon is like a diamond where you end up learning about amplified emotions and they’re not always positive emotions that are amplified that being said, I have to keep track of my temper for a while until the sides the little I don’t like to make excuses again, but I said that the moon is getting fuller is kinda getting a bully as well…… I always call the moon fully bully is what I call it because it is a full bully and it is what a bully does to makes you feel like shit and other stuff like that. I’m kind of not happy about this hole full moon or blue moon I can’t believe it and those are the ones that get me. The most are the full moon or the super moons especially the super moons will get the worst!