Friday, August 16, 2024

August 17, 2024 early a.m.

 

Yesterday I changed the design of the tattoo to the very one which is a melting yin and yang! It is still over the Halloween variety, but I thought it was a lot more relatable than let’s say a pumpkin ghost that said, Even though we do have ghosts of the past, I find that this one was more relatable because I was always looking for balance, emotional, spiritual and mental balance because of my PTSD. The fact is melting because of my PTSD again it actually shows that I fighting Struggle like That only some people are chosen to accept that particular struggle. I’m not saying anything weird weird I’m just just saying that things happen for a reason and they may not be the reason you are in the first place, but that’s basically why things happen and I think I’ve been put on a planet to help with my journey with Friday hope and balance that being said I know I sound like someone crazy but that’s basically what it is is I wasn’t trying to like every time I get into a fight and stuff. I was never trying to get into the fight that I got into it was always someone else who was starting a fight, other people say it was not the fact that I would say stupid stuff to people or start fights with other people usually it came to me and I had no choice in the matter but other than that, I’m peaceful here would be who deals with things in a better life than you would expect !

Speaking on fighting, My flight with the pink car is almost over as I am able to go back into the group home as far as the general population is concerned because I found this very annoying to stay in my room and be bored that’s why I couldn’t do very much about the idea of writing anymore than I had to yesterday that being said, it was not interested to stay in my room. There were a few things I found in my room that We’re from yesteryear that I worked on plenty of courses last year that I did not know that being said that was something that was interesting for me I forgot that I did a mould investigation course of a couple of other healthcare relay courses that they said it was very interesting to find those. That was the only thing interesting about this whole freaking experience. What is that? I found these certificates that I did not know I had or forgot that I had should frame them my day, but I don’t have the money because I’m saving up for the tattoo. I’m saving up for blue fest next year is kind of interesting. I be able to get the tattoo, but I’m not able to get a picture frame because I don’t think of the picture frames just yet that being said I’m not too worried about the picture frames as the safe place. I’m happy in the first place but then I’m very happy about what I found yesterday. The idea that I did these courses back in the same site where I did the bow investigation and this time I’m doing the  meats that being said it’s very interesting But let’s see how it turns out in the first place it might not be one that I might continue or it might be one like the mole investigation, which would be very interesting!

I end up taking more courses with WHO for one because I found that bacteria virus is very very interesting, but I did not find them interesting enough that I would be surrounded by them and then up with pink car that said yeah that I’m not gonna mention that that’s in the past I never thought that would happen. I would end up with pink, but forget that that I was learning from things and university people would be learning was very interesting indeed as I said what are the things that if you’re a polarian star seed is that you are able to be very gifted intellectually and otherwise another sign that you might be a Polan star seed is that you’re able to so the amount of creativity and stuff that be said that is very interesting to have rest amounts of creativity to be able to do things, but I did not know. I was smart enough and takes exit people only and university would be able to take in the first place. It was kind of interesting to be honest with you last year mould investigation and then The same year last year when I ended up taking court with WHO was when I was in September I still remember having to go to basketball that months in September last year it was not as fun as it seemed actually was pretty good for self decompression and go relax, but what do you have  At the time was just begging to be broken up with that being said it was not too easy on my nerves. I try not to badmouth this fellow, but it is what it is where I end up saying well he was a jackass!  Let’s just say he ruined Special Olympics for me whether I’m able to go back to Special Olympics at any time do I really care????? Que the loading bar as I am kind of trying to think should I care about the Special Olympics go back to them? Nah! I had my time and it was not exactly easy for me as the sun. I ended up with heat stroke. Let’s put it this way. I just couldn’t get away from the Special Olympics and ball hockey to save my life. The idea that I was going insane in my head, but I couldn’t go insane with my actions was more than enough for me to want to quit!

I know this may have been upsetting this so many people that I had to go away from Special Olympics, but as I said, it was something I had to do for my old good will go back to it as I don’t know unless I see improvement or something or the guy decides to not come back to Special Olympics. I don’t think I will be going back neither because this guy was a royal Mackie alien jackass to be honest with you, he was not very nice as he was so what is that on your skin as if he did tattoos or wanted to understand tattoos he did he just wanted to poke at them because he couldn’t stand them stuff like that the fuck up your bastard ! I told him like I told one of my brothers one time the guy I have too many tattoos you don’t like tattoos you’re not the Grim Reaper. I’m gonna continue getting tattoos until it is time for me to be plucked from this earth. That being said it ain’t gonna happen other words!unless you’re the reaper, I will not stop getting tattoos unless I choose to do so myself unless you’re the grand reaper you can’t stop me. I can stop me in the first place and all the side or the Grim Reaper will decide for me either way it’s on my terms and dad. I don’t think people should be bitchy about stuff in the first place and saying well you should do this with your body when really it’s none of your fucking business. And with my ex it was the part of his business to tell me what to do with my body or how to look or anything like that I don’t know how many times he said what I saw them. What the fuck is that stuff like that I couldn’t send the same thing. Why the hell do you listen to music? Why are you such a conformist stuff like that? It was kind of aggravating to be honest with you actually was more aggravating than the guy that I had for the past two days to be honest with you or is this Jack ass!

I am getting burnt out because of my time being in the room my room alone, not being able to do very much. It’s kind of boring to be honest with you. I just wanna be able to relax with other people and talk to other people and not have to worry about the idea that, I cannot talk to other people it’s aggravating. I don’t know how many times I used WhatsApp will you get my WhatsApp I don’t think so but it is what it is. I use it. I only use it for emergency or when it comes to time when I have to self isolate because of a disease and I want to still keep a dialogue with my friends. It’s only used for my friends not jackass strangers or anything like that!

To be completely honest, I could do without this app to be honest with you unless I actually am bleeding and dying in the first place that I use it. That’s the only time I fucking use. This thing is if I’m bleeding to death in my blood and I’m dying, then I might use WhatsApp and obviously 911 that being said I don’t usually use WhatsApp and unless as I said some thing had happened that is serious or something that is going to drive me insane in the first place and I’m not able to do anything without someone that would be the only amount of people on WhatsApp and nor do I care about it!


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