I promised some people that I would not defame this brat’s name any more but I had a dream where I was forced by my ex to be back with him and to be back in the special Olympics as this would obviously would scare me more then anything in real life! I have been through a lot in my life that should shake me up but this this was bad it tore me from a deeply sleep I am still shaking at the thought of the night mare I had. This was there worst night mare I had that I don’t think was PTSD related unless cheating bastard a traumatic and I think they are in some ways. Some people think this shit of relationship had fissled out but really it was because he concealed the fact that he was having an affair with someone and failed to tell me which is the equivalent of cheating! I don’t want to be in the special Olympics again to be complete honest as long as he is there I can’t! This mean son of a bitch ruined my summer and I am not going to deal with it every again…..yeah that awful that it warranted a night mare and I am not going to waste a therapists time on this sack of shit! No, no, no! If you think a relationship fizzled out then I think it must’ve fizzled out because of cheating because that’s exactly what had happened. I know that sounds silly and exaggerated, but that basically is what I had a deal with and I had a dream when I was forced back into the relationship with this guy back By the same jackass that being said, it was pretty bad to be honest with you!
All the nightmares I could’ve had this is the one that really gone through me because it was too realistic for my taste even for my PTSD nightmares this one takes a cake. Honestly, I’ve never been so afraid that I would be back with someone I despised to be honest with you and don’t wanna ever see again! That being said I tried to be in the relationship With this bundle of shit to be honest with you, but I couldn’t handle it anymore. After what he did that being said I had to get away from the Special Olympics and it looks like I’ll have to stay away from it for as long as I’ll be having this nightmare I don’t plan having it ever again, but it looks like this is what it is a very scary situation I’m afraid that this will be a possibility and I’m afraid that he’s going to do something worse that cheat on me! That being said I don’t wanna have to waste a perfectly good therapist sway at time on this sack of shit! Is it the spooky season, I don’t know for sure but it was a spooky dream that I wish not to have again! As I said the worst PTSD nightmare couldn’t even shake me from the sleep that I have but for this dream to stir me from my sleep it was bad! BAD! The fuck I will end up in a relationship with this jerk again! To be honest t I rather have the flu! And that is saying something!
The last time I had a flu it was let’s say very trippy and I thought I was on something for sure as I was having visions and hallucinations that were not exactly pleasant, but we’re enlightening nonetheless, but not as pleasant as you would think they would be it was as if I was having a bad trip on the flu! That being said it was horrible to think that your are at death’s door and that you see your dead mother and your ancestor beckoning you to follow the light……I don’t want to have that! As it was one of my first trippy psychedelic experiences and it neither was pleasant at least I saw the powerful the apex predator the shark as my lead spirit animal! That was interesting! But the rest of the visions were not as good for. Me - at the time. When I was lying there last year I could not handle it! But I am able to see the visions for what they were in the fist place! The very last trippy experiences was when when my doctor prescribed shrooms to me instead of an anti depressant that was bad too! But came up with more art than anything else! Neither of the experiences I wanted or said yes to. That being said I wanted to know deal with that but I know that you can not avoid these common “common” illnesses that cause situations like being in a trippy situation!
Write now it is very windy oh sorry the trees are contorting in the way. I’ve never seen before. This is just early in the morning. It’s very interesting and need to see that. I also will be able to do a lot of different things, but I can’t wait to get my tattoo but right now I’m just being able to see the idea that the trees are bending and it’s windy out, which unfortunately, some people would mean conjuring of fall or autumn …..something I don’t wanna have to say, but it is true that is coming up fast and furious. That being said it’s very interesting to see the trees starting to change colour even though it pissed Some people and others insane the idea that we are getting on the edge of winter! I do t want to thing of winter Except to say that, and this sounds out of character, but to make money shovelling snow making more money on my cleaning job that’s the only thing I like about winter is extra money. Where is in the summertime year kind of hard to find stuff that you can’t do on the fly kind of thing to make more money that being said I wish I could make more money now than I could before winter, but it’s not the case!
To tell you the truth I don’t like winter when it comes to the freezing weather and shit but it will be interesting g to get Exercise that does not involve dealing with my act or exercise. It will actually pay me some money that being said that would be a lot better than let’s say dealing with people I don’t like in the first place! I hate some people particularly my ex I am talking about! I don’t want to deal with special Olympics because of him! He was doing thing that set me up for disappointment and failure. Like the last time He requested he’d be on the other team instead of being on my team and stuff like that just to get me going and stuff. It was kind of awful to be honest with you so I’d rather be spending my time making money shoveling, snow and being at peace with myself instead of dealing with a shit disturber like him! Honestly I hope that my day goes better than the fucking night as it was horrible last night!
I really hope that the day will be better then night and morning!
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