August 13, 2024. a.m.

I woke up early this morning, but then fell back asleep I did not think of anything about for writing…..it was so annoying that I went back to sleep!  I wanted to write so bad that I could not think of sleeping again!  And lo’s it was happening and for I fell asleep, I was supposed to work on a story but it don’t know happened I just went out!  I was going to go and get  back up but I could not bring my self! I wasn’t depressed this was because I did not know what time it was when I woke up for the first time!  I was interested more into writing then anything sometimes that I would rather just write…..but it was brain fog that I was going through!  I was going to write about the the following thing:

What will crystal do if she comes across pure evil?

When crystal find love in the form of a medical student across town, they only talk only online and don't know very little about eachother except for what is one their profiles! But will things be what they seem to be or will, tray, the medical student have something to hide!
When some young women disappear under strange circumstances and the be found dead in the next few days!  Is it Tray who is doing this!  At this point crystal will be living with him, smitten until she finds a diary......
She will be at conflict between the diary and the man that she loves!  What is truth and what is fictional!
And what really happened to these young women who disappeared in the first place!



When the police get close to Tray's tail!  And barge in.....arresting tray for the murders of the women who disappeared in his presence.  Crystal sees the truth!  Will she love again or will she be stuck in time!

That was what I was trying to write about! but as I said, I ended up with brain fog, which is not always the most fun thing to have to tell you the truth I did not enjoy having to go back to sleep and end up waking up around 9 o’clock in the morning being said I was more annoyed than anything else. I don’t know what is been going on either can’t sleep or I am able to sleep and make up your mind. I just can’t believe this!

Yeah, I find it going to sleep is more annoying than anything else sometimes sometimes it is relaxing and sometimes it well it is not. I found it. I woke up a little too late and found out people were having a meeting something that always me even more or meetings……… I remember my mother used to always go for these planning meetings for me and I found them more annoying than anything else and I do not like them because she would rip on my mental health and say all the things I had to work on and half the stuff that I wasn’t working on and it was kind of aggravating I did not like being called depressed or anything for that matter that being said I found it annoying I still foreign meetings annoying I have no respect for them to be honest with you. I just don’t like them to be honest. 

You can’t thank my mother on that I don’t know why, but my parents seem to think that I should’ve been an iPad or a smart phone instead of a human being with flaws. That’s what I thought. At least it was kind of aggravating to be honest with you that I didn’t really wanna talk to them about my problems. That’s why I ended up in therapy in the first place when I was a kid because I wouldn’t talk to them and I still wouldn’t talk to them about half the shit that was going on in my life if they were still alive because well they’re judge people they just judge mental and I find that that’s the worst of all is to be judge mental of your own kid or adoptive kid in this case this was not my cup of tea was saying oh you have to work on this. You have to work on that is that the other thing and it was driving me and saying , I don’t like them because they always say bad things about other people !

Sorry from there it’s a nice sunny day so I am able to go and just sit outside because of the fucking meeting being said I don’t like these meetings to be honest with you especially in the winter time when I have to stay in my room because they talk about shit that really annoys me and other things I find it’s just aggravating but at least it’s a nice sunny day. I wish I did not have to deal with these meetings to be honest with you having to hear them or having to get away from them because people are ignorant stuff like that I find that meetings are not nice, at least for me I they were not nice for me. I said my mother used to say about 100 different things I had to work on and she would tell me 200 things that I wasn’t working on. I did not like planning meetings to be honest with you or anything like that I dreaded them because I know that I would be considered not case . ….. that being said, I found that it was very aggravating and then after the meetings I would have I would end up having a major depressive episode. I wonder why and I wonder if my mother ever knew why because well they were dead her mental to my mental health and I finally fucking said that I did not like these meetings, let’s put it that way and then I did not enjoy them having to be dragged through the mud and stuff like that so that big said I didn’t go to meetings as a kid.

Other than that, I think I’m gonna have a good day. I’ll be updating you more on my good day if I find it is suitable might go grocery shopping. Another thing is very interesting to see where my day might lead me so that being said and I also I have to go and drop books off at the library that have been Bugging me and need to get rid of them in the first place. I remember when I was at the library I ended up getting something that was a hard commodity, not a book but also the idea of a fidget spinner lighter bracelet that was broken by night so I was not happy about destroying that beautiful thing. It was nice and pink so anything pink I had to get rid of because I knew it was gonna get destroyed right away, but there was come out. It was a comic book called Cowboys and aliens, they were trying to scare and they said you can have the book to keep and I was happy, but I was also perplexed that they would let me easily get this book for free and not have to return. It was kind of interesting to be honest with you! It is very interesting to go to the library or to go to recycling centre to see what books they have last time. I was at the recycling center. I ended up getting some dungeons and dragons box so I have an idea the next time if my friend invites me to a campaign that I am able to go and do this, right way without having to look like an asshole kind of thing ! is better prepared than anything else going to get a book on criminal justice and Canada something I’ve been wanting to read since I was in the eighth grade yes, the eighth grade believe it or not that’s how powerful my brain is sometimes I can’t even go skateboarding because well how it would not be enough to protect my brain cause it is a precious cargo because of my IQ being 196 ! Skateboarding is a no go for yours truly, which is kind of aggravating, but I can see why I don’t want to lose that powerful brain and some cases sometimes it’s a little too powerful!

That being said it is very powerful brain. I have read some minor is a more of a Polan star seed situation to have a very powerful brain in the first place, but also to have strong facial features. Something that I’ve had some people have more softer facial features, I have them as if they were chiselled out of my face or if you were it is very interesting, believe that I have very strong facial features not because of my genetics or my accessory, but because of the fact that it is my spiritual archetype as a star to have these strong facial features, sometimes in their world, they will come up with blood or gray hair, I was trying to be very honest to go with gray hair as I’ve been always  Being drawn the gray hair even though people keep saying well it’s gonna be coming soon enough, but it’s not the kind of red hair I was looking for the metallic kind that star seeds are best known for in the first place I these are what makes me have eclectic taste for anything that normal people would not find as appealing to them. I find that is very interesting to be more being a healer or something to that effect or an artist, sort of photographer or something to that effect or a writer and actually do stuff instead of what normal people would consider would be, boring that side of feeling like you’re connecting to the universe not just the star of this case with star seeds is that we had up connection with the animals well, even with Covid and some cases because it’s just the way it is the law of the universe to have the idea that everything is interconnected with each other  animal germ or whatever !

That being showed that I’ve been going to the library a lot for these Romantic fantasies or romantic. If you were to call them that I don’t know how to spell them, but they’re like Sarah, J Moss, and other things like that which are very interesting like for for example, would be one and another one would be Crescent city I thought those were very good books and stuff like that. I’ve been going to the library finding those instead of just the blasé normal people works, but sometimes the normal people books are actually pretty good and some cases are normal people like serial killers and other shit like that that I find or not as entertaining and some cases depending on the serial killer or the situation that the book is written in the first place sometimes it is a good book and sometimes it’s just too normal for me to read as I said, I try not to read too much , true crime because I find these are very boring for me to read unless I am very familiar with the case or the idiot who caused all the problems in the story particularly the criminal like for example I got a book on Ted Bundy and I was able to read more about that because I’m more familiar with this jackass that anything else  The same thing what was Stella deckle that I found that I was able to sorry for her name I read the book, but I was more and more familiar with that story as I have heard the Stella story too many times on TV that became grained in my brain that I would read about it and obviously the next extraordinary story so I would read that instead of let’s say  Most true crime that doesn’t really have very much factor unless I’m watching Bailey Sarian! Billy Sarian is a makeup artist who also likes to talk about true crime. She has a murder mystery. Monday is a very good as well as I liked also like sometimes her show dark history on Thursdays, which are very interesting indeed I always wait every Monday for the idiot of the week as I call it murder mystery Make up Monday and see who’s being featured. Sometimes the last one was about cannibal. I was kind of aggravating that cannibal was able to have more better things in life than other people I was aggravated.!

I find the people who are the dark, trying to be more aggravating than anything else. The dark triad people are very annoying. In my opinion they seem to be a pain in my ass. I have met a lot of people with dark triad traits in my life to the point where I don’t have to be a psychiatrist or an FBI profiler to know that they exist. I just have to get a whiff of their personality and is usually a bad personality and I tell him to go fly the kite (Politely saying the f word in real Life). there was a girl named Karen. She was dark. Try she was Mackie and she was also pretty psychopathic and she was a narcissist, and there was this girl. She was a black case as well who did not really care for human life or giving respect to other people narcissism psychopath there, and there all of the dark triad, she saved the light to enjoy torment me at my worst days and trying to do the worst of the worst. She was going to find ways to do things this Alex Dupree person was a horrible human being. Let’s just say she was not meant to be human. 

Was she meant to be an animal because animals have emotions and other things she was a good human being to be around I remember knowing about her in grade 8, and then she was a homophobe and other things like that not that I am Lesbian might be, but I might not be lesbian or gay that for that sake, I did not like her homophobia to be honest with you that was sorry that she was right there and I was like you’ve gotta be fucking kidding me!

I love the sound of A cicada it is very interesting to hear this sound. You don’t hear this sound very much nowadays is the cicada. I used to hear them a lot when I was a kid that big said I used to hear them a lot when I was in my past lives and feudel Japan, and other stuff I found this very interesting, you can still hear cicada from rub time return, particularly in the countryside where I live you were able to hear the more where is in the city it’s too damn noisy to hear. How do I know because I was with my idiot of a brother who had nothing better to do that to complain about other things in life, but then again that was his thing I found that I complained that there was no cicada beetles in the city and then I could not hear them as much as I wanted to hear them. That was kind of sad to be honest with you the idea that I can’t hear them. 

They help with a lot of things Like how they grounding and getting to be in the present and stuff like that I find the cicada Beatles are very good to hear and stuff like that. I wish I could hear them all day but sometimes I have to go inside but it is very interesting to hear them means it’s too hot out or they’re just trying to sound off, but usually I enjoy hearing the cicadas. I love the idea of nature and being with nature to be honest with you is more important than some things in life, i.e. money or other things actually see some actual green instead of the artificial green diarrhoea that I usually like I don’t like money!