August 4, 2024

So I been working for the wattpad Watty’s 2024 for the past 4 two five months!  Actually it was it was for months of straight writitng!  And believe it or not it was 10 books that I entered in to the Watty’s this year, the reason 10 books was the fact that I was going through therapy and started writing after one of my therapy sessions 3 book memoir!  That being said I thought that would be a good idea for my mental health!  Then ……then something popped in my head and I started a 6 book series , with 3 back stories would be 9 books….the 3 backstory are for next years 2025 watty’s!  That being said I have been writing none stop because of my PTSD therapy!  I find that with a guitar, a human therapists, and writing  that these three things actually worked and I am sorry to neglect this boot basically writing 10 books takes lots of time that I sometimes I need to do to help with my annoyance a.k.a PTSD!  

I find that writing and the guitar help me the most.  I always liked writing because of the PTSD factor as it has help ian flemming  and Romeo Dallaire and other creative but traumatized minds with theirs wounds!   I like being able to create a good story weather it be a romance or something based of my life I find that writing help ultimately to clear the head!     This writing contest I wanted to do for 5 years now and I finally enter 10 books this year……I have my therapist to thank for that!  As I was able to rid my self of most of my demons for the 4 to 5 months!  I like being able to writes as my head will not explode on site if I do…..where is if  I don’t write I am behavioural shit show 

This one writing contest I wanted to do since the covid years because it  interested in me!  It was something for 5 years I have been striving for only to come up with ten different books 6 of which are a party of a series!  It was quite interested to see that the wanted book after book!  To the point that I was getting better at making 50,000 words+ was interesting enough for me to realize that I had it in me were was in the covid years I was able to just pump out 10 short chapters now my characters are evolved as well as my writing! And  as for the guitar I remember during said covid years that my brother Jonathan gave me an acoustic guitar and I have not stopped play it when I figured it out with Amanda Jordan’s help!  

  That being said I re learned the guitar in Feburary 2024 on my 35th birthday.   Find of interesting that one small time concert would do that but I don’t do blue grace it is more indie rock and folk and punk!  That being said I still refer to the guitar when times get ugly or I need an album out! 

I was not just doing different genres of writing as I write a couple of short stories called shaman: creepy short stories. That being said that and one other book was not romance in my opinion as I was more interested in romance writing as way to calm my self down after a pissy day!   I rarely have pissy days now a days!  But the main thorn in my side is the fact that my ex cheated and lied about the how things too me!  That was what start my hyper graphy again and I was able to get some books out for the Watty’s…..I guess not all bad things are bad as I am on a journey about my self and dealing with on my self for a year or two as I was really hurting from this year long shit relationship that I was in!   I don’t know the nature of his cheating but he is manipulative in ways that will piss of a dark triad person!  (Socio or psychopath)…..and that is saying something right there 

I don’t like the idea of my ex doing this to women but he is what he is the darkest of the dark triad!  As a polarian starseed I only see good or evil…..never the greys in between that!  It is kinda annoying to be honest with you. About this but then there it as well!

Some people would think that I am playing on the details too much but that that is basically what the fuck happened that fateful night at baseball that made me either very angry or very fast runner!  I could not believe that the last year was based on lies and fiction!  

To me ficition is only meant for the wattpad watty’s not in real life unless you are a writer like me who likes telling stories but I always tell the fucking truth outside of blogging or writing!  I still remember telling the truth and being accused of lying at age 7….it didn’t feel nice to me. And I wanted to cry but I just punched the teacher!  

You can imagine that the  teacher was going to give me retribution for punching them out ….. a 20 to 30lbs girl punching out a teacher was what happens when you accuse some of that weight class of lying!  I could imagine my mother was not happy about both me p nor the teacher if I remember correctly!

Since I had  never lied about anything that I know off in my life, why the fuck that  would my boy friend do the same…. It was not fair and traumatic to be honest with you! I hate him still to this day as he was a lying sack of shit…… you can almost imagine that my guitar was going to see the light of day again pretty soon!  As I was not happy about what he had done to me this was worse then assault, it was soul assault!   That would be the better wording for that! As when some abuses you through cheating i would called soul assault as it really does hurt the soul!  I found that when my boyfriend laught at me he was fucking laughing at the who thing = narcissistic and he was a control freak….. the freak would not let me get tattoos, then only person who will say “no” tattoos is the Grimm reaper not a mortal human!

I will be getting tattoos until the day I am satisfied or if I die!  That being said I Hope satisfied comes first as  people like Kirk don’t belong on this planet if they are going to objectify woman!    And what is a shocker is that he went for a morbidly obese woman with little to no teeth and he was doin’ her will dating me!  ….jack ass I say!

So you can see what I have been writing 10 books in the span of 4 months and the not writing in here as much.  But that is the case with dark triad people is the like someone who can manipulate over and over again,   I on the other hand am too smart to play with that BM.

The fact that he was manipulating or trying to manipulate me was one thing! I have to forgive sooner or later,   Better later then sooner because I cannot stand him!  Things went to a head when I we had to move for a week and the place that we were staying in was haunted…..not by ghosts but by demonic entities that were showing them selves as either negative energy that will hit you like a brick wall or that you saw apparitions of people comming seppuku!  Which was disturbing enought to be honest I never want that fucking place again as I could not deal with the apparitions and the evil engery that was Hirohito, yes I play name that demon!  Not a game I want to play but there it was.

What I did not like about this place was that I also disconnected form the outside world causing me to got batty and have a shit show behaviours in the first place I did not want to deal that again so I got I touch with family to keep me sane enough to get through this shit show!

 Me and haunted houses that are actually haunted by demonic entities, like Hirohito is not what I call a fun fucking week….it is as what the navy seal training is called…..hell week emphasizes on HELL!  as there was just horrible effect for everyone!  That being said I am still recharging and regaining sleep that I lost for this complete hell show!   

Why would a bunch of well to do good people go insane so fast in one week to be honest t that is the truth…….i should have brought an originate pyramid or something to ward this fucker way!  After I that week I don’t ever what to experience that kind of evil that raw pure evil that you will have nightmares from the spirits not from PTSD ….the PTSD is the east part spiritual warfare is not my coup of coffee!  It was horrorible to fend off things that go bump in the night from your soul while dealing with PTSD at the same time!       

Did you know that black anything crystal or stone will help with spiritual warfare and negative energy!…..it is true!