August 15, 2024 late P.M.

 Within a month from now, I will be getting the ghost pumpkin skull. I think that is what I’m describing it correctly is that being said it’s very interesting to see that and I hope I’m able to myself as I have a bad luck with staff infections but the idea that someone can add some colour to. It would be very nice in the next coming month when I actually get the design done that being said is very interesting to, see the idea of the design. I do a lot of these Halloween flash sales because I have a lot more entertaining content than anything else at least For at least that being said that the creative part of Halloween is always a good thing that said I find that To be yourself on Halloween that’s why I like the holiday and I like these Halloween Flash sales at my tattoo artist has to offer or artist I should say this is a new one that’s coming out. Her name is Elle! 

That being said I’m very interested in seeing what her abilities are. They seem very interesting as far as I look at the design very good imagination. I will have to say more within the next month but was looks like it’s a very good design. I wish I could pull that off that imaginative design That being said I hope I do but as I said, I’ll tell you what I can do right now is pinups, but I cannot do tattooing because of I’ve been told that I might not be able to have a real job except maybe for writing because of my fucking PTSD I think you already know about that. PTSD is a bad word so tattoo artist might be out of the question or at least for now! That said that’s quite a more aggravated than my pink card. Is your idea that at the moment or whatever I’m not able to get a job but I might be able to start my own cleaning business. That’s an idea there cleaning out peoples houses right now. I’m just focussing on my eyeball right now cleaning out. I don’t know what I did to deserve that but anyways, yes I said why don’t you start your own cleaning business so I did I said that’s a good idea. Give me something to latch on too. Maybe the universe that maybe I should be doing tattooing because you never know where the next time I might have pink eye at least I can clean and disinfect surfaces a lot better than I can probably do people that sad is very interested to see what ideas someone might have them might be more brilliant than just drawing!   But that is beside the point I wish to Share some my drawings with one was a sunrise or sunset in a field of Hydro electric towers! as well as some of them were the big dipper both there were the big dipper I got I had the big dipper put on my neck, not put on, but you know what I mean tattooed in my neck and it didn’t bother me and seem to be a pain in my ass or thing of my mind since I had it on my neck now that being said I find that is very interested to see the big damper. At least I wanna go stargazing I can go and look at my pictures or go and look at my neck. 

I wanna see pumpkin until midnight, laugh out loud so I can get some sleep because I’ll be seeing every day that being said I don’t have a new pet to deal with other than the past that is why eyeball this one will be a lot better. It says well the tattoo as it always will it, but that being said it won’t be a bad affair like this at least this has Some pay off For me because at the end, I see a beautiful design after weeks or months that being said, I’d rather tattoo the pig card to be honest with you and I’ll be getting that soon enough!

I have to go to A blood drive it’s very interesting to want to GiveBlood. That’s at the beginning of September and I will be donating my blood that being said it’s very interesting to do so and I have done it before because last year ID fell through because it was just the copy of the ID it wasn’t the full Real thing so that being said that was kind of aggravating there, I couldn’t help people what got me interested in wanting to GiveBlood and this is a big one. I have a lot of rare ethnic groups that probably would be able to help people with the blood drive and be able to they said they did not just need all blood types. One time they said that they all needed different ethnic groups , and I have the hostess and I thought maybe I should give blood one day that being said that it was blowing on my mind for quite some time until I finally decided last year I was gonna do it and then the photo ID didn’t want to work worth of shit  That I’m gonna do it now!

What’s the guy for is that I remember my mother dearly, definite my right ear and I still have tinnitus from that fight that I had. I remember her yelling at the top of her lungs give back to the world instead of Tay. I still remember that argument to be honest with you not as an argument or something bad but something that is positive and transformative instead of being a little typical teenager. I wanted to be something else that would help people and then Canadian blood services bingo. I was able to find away to help make a dent in this world that would be a lot more effective for other people and then getting fcursed ant for being a cop  and stuff like that. ! my idea of Fidelity brave red integrity is not just that of law-enforcement. I think it’s also a thing that humans should think about as this is very then I looked up what gauge or bigger septum ring would mean and it also man, fidelity, bravery, and integrity as well you know what it is you see it you know what it is some people just like it for the aesthetic purposes, but my cultures it is like fidelity bravery integrity written in your skin it’s just bigger than your small little Wimpy septum brag that being said that’s why I stretched my septum to a certain size or I thought it was a certain size, but it was bigger than I thought so it was big time, fidelity bravery, and a integrity  that being said it was very interesting and interesting to see that people want to do more bigger septum piercings like the septum but that is one thing but is it for looks or is it for actual principal and character? That is the one question I might have to say as mine is because of culture and ancestry, as well as principal that comes with that ancestry  is what it is fidelity bravery integrity I looked up the meaning of gauge or stretched septum piercing with a bigger septum ring and that’s exactly what popped up. Honestly, that being said let’s see what the AI has to say about this

This is what ai has to say about sept piercings

And I was write on most of the but rebellion, as I don’t have a rebellious bone in my body!

I will be putting a red balloon on the ones that pertain to me!

“Septum piercings, particularly larger gauges, hold various cultural meanings across different societies:

🎈1. Spiritual significance: In some indigenous cultures, larger septum piercings symbolize spiritual growth, connection to ancestors, and a stronger bond with nature.

🎈2. Tribal identity: In certain tribal communities, larger septum piercings signify belonging, status, and cultural heritage.

🎈3. Beauty and aesthetics: In some cultures, larger septum piercings are seen as a beauty statement, emphasizing individuality and self-expression.

4. Rebellion and nonconformity: In mainstream Western culture, larger septum piercings may be associated with counterculture movements, symbolizing rebellion against societal norms.

🎈5. Cultural heritage: In some African and Asian cultures, larger septum piercings are a traditional practice passed down through generations, signifying cultural continuity.

🎈6. Personal empowerment: For some individuals, larger septum piercings represent personal growth, confidence, and self-empowerment.

Remember that cultural meanings can vary widely, and individual interpretations may differ. It's essential to respect and understand the cultural context and significance of larger septum piercings.”

August 15, 2024 p.m

OK, so I’m in a bit of a mood because of a lot of things number one I have Pinkeye! Yes, I have that pink eye is a pain in the ass that I or should I say the eye and it’s more or less like a staff infection in your eye that doesn’t have to eat up everything I’ll tell you what it is if you haven’t had it before and I hope you don’t have the pleasure of it!

Pink eye, also known as conjunctivitis, can be caused by several types of bacteria. The most common bacterial causes of pink eye include:

1. Staphylococcus aureus

2. Haemophilus influenzae

3. Streptococcus pneumoniae

4. Moraxella catarrhalis

5. Chlamydia trachomatis (which can also cause a sexually transmitted infection)

Viral pink eye is more common than bacterial pink eye, and is often caused by a virus such as adenovirus or herpes simplex virus. Allergic pink eye is also possible, and is not caused by an infection. If you think you have pink eye, it's a good idea to see a healthcare provider for proper diagnosis and treatment.

That basically set the tone for the day if you know what I mean, especially the number one cause of it being staff look Caucus that is my favourite bacteria as stuff Lakau is has been the one that caused me to not pierce myself ever again maybe that was a good thing but the fact that it’s back again, oh hell no I am very angry that I kinda have to stay in my own room. I can’t touch Jack shit well I can do without that. I can’t do very much with the cleaning. Anything for that matter my number one show right now is to clean out my eye literally I don’t know how I woke up with the bastard this morning!    Enough about that I wanna talk about more positive things, particularly the fact that I got my tattoo booked for!   Being classified a pumpkin going on my left shoulder so that should be very interesting for people who give me flu shots like I really give a shit about those people! That being said, I’m happy that my tattoo has been booked for Early in the fall, that was the only thing that was a matter to me other than the fact that my left eye was fucked up more than my brain was ever fucked up in the first place!

That being said getting the tattoo was was my main priority until I saw the monster city. That was my left eye that being said, I had a text the person who runs my group home right away because it was obviously contagious. I spent most of the morning booking the tattoo, and cleaning out my eyes still cleaning out my eyes with antibiotics to stay right now because it’s a bastard of the case they say it’s gonna be two days meeting in my room which is I guess it’s a good thing but also a pain in the ass !   At least to get my tattoo booked without any interlopers or people going around, asking me questions and me ruining the appointment and picking the wrong in the first place that would’ve given me more of a headache that being said, I found that I was able to focus more on that after I got my eye cleaned out for the first time it is real, but it is a pain in the ass. it feels like a glass right now, but anyways, I was able to get the antibiotics in for the breakfast portion of the day and then I was able to, go and focus on the tattoo and then I was able to do some music Then I watched Criminal Minds and that’s when things started to fall apart. They started talking about this guy who is killing other people well that’s one thing, but the PTSD card and be a tasty bastard is something that I can’t stand.   I hate the stereotypes that people have given people like me people who have PTSD as serial killers and stranglers and everything else in between when we are just trying to live day by day and we most of us haven’t done Jack shit!

That being said, I tried to do a lot of PTSD acceptance and awareness when it comes in my creativity that’s why I find that it’s important to be creative so you don’t end up brewing on certain things and then you end up doing stuff that you’re gonna regret that being said, I don’t believe in the idea of Acting like a shithead because you have to be in pain. You can be in pain. Acknowledge the pain but do something about the pain that can be positive in the first place. Remember when I told you about my mother giving me the watercolours after a severe temper tantrum at the age of four years old and I was just trying to fix with that idea that being said it’s very interesting to see where creativity can do a lot more positivity than violence. They say that to catch more flies you need, honey. You don’t need vinegar I always say that when you always asking some asshole question or you’re trying to get someone to help themselves, but in this case it does work with PTSD if you want someone PTSD help don’t stereotype the whole bunch of people with serial killers because that is vinegar not honey. People will not wanna go around sharing if they end up talking about serial killers and stuff like that and they keep saying PTSD the cause of it well it isn’t. The serial killer sociopath or Psychopathic faker That I like to call a tasty twirl, which means a swirling bastard Who knows how to play with Chinese balls but does not know what they actually are used for that being said that’s why I called them tasty twirls that being said I don’t like these using the PTSD card to go and use it as an excuse to be a man child or a woman child and act like a shit I mean come on grow up! 

I must tell you something I do have PTSD, but I am not a faker or a tasty turtle as I called these fakers. I am who I am either take it or leave it if you wanna take it or not stereotype me because then he can’t leave it. I do have bigger emotions. My nightmares are ass and annoying, flashbacks aggravating at times, but I’ve been used to this for a long time because I had this since I was basically born in a war zone that said I’m sorry I’m used to the kids with PTSD are able to cope better than adults to acquire the darned condition in the first place and act out!

I don’t believe that you should be violent because you have PTSD that’s not a valid excuse as I have PTSD and I never attacked anyone physically I may have had a sharp tongue in my life where I’ve been opinion and it may have seemed like I was attacking someone But other than that, I do not believe in violence on a peaceful human being that cares about other human beings even if they have caused my PTSD I don’t really care too much for the people that caused my PTSD but you know what I mean at least I can care about another human being  You can’t understand right wrong and you decide to say always a crappy childhood or you had a crappy adult hood or something of that effect it could drive me completely insane like I did not have a good day yesterday, but the only thing I strangled was those hundreds glow sticks that I can still see from here. I did some more pictures that being said you can tell I’d rather be creative instead of destructive  Destructive people have excuse and it’s trauma. That’s the excuse not because they’re being an asshole…… I own up and deal with your problems own up and deal with the fact that you’ve done something stupid and maybe it would be a lot easier!

My mother said it’s easier to tell the truth than it is to tell a lie. At least you’ll get into some trouble but at least you won’t get as much trouble if you are found out to be lying!

That quote I said about my mother saying it’s easier to tell the truth and to tell a lie at least you’ll get in trouble, but it won’t be as shitty kind of “things she told me was exactly the truth. In some cases I find if you just admit that you were the jackass that you were acting a fool and stuff like that maybe things would be a lot easier and that you are a distractive person or self-destructive person but you don’t have to go and make people who are good well people who happen to have PTSD to look bad either because you have to get out of jail or you have to get out of whatever consequences you might be having in the first place I never use the PTSD card because I think if I do, I would be taking another shower right away because I would just feel dirty and scummy and I would not want to be able to see how things are gonna go with things with lying and stuff. I don’t believe in lying. I don’t like lying I don’t believe in playing cards to get out of shit I find out is for people who are really amateur and stupid enough, not to believe that they have done this particular act whatever the act would be that being said please do not use the PTSD card because I’ve, had PTSD for most of my 35 years of my life and I never acted like a jackass to another human being whether it be killing them or otherwise I never acted a fool. I always try to be the bigger person and try to be stronger and not give the other person, the satisfaction of seeing me get angry  or give them the satisfaction of me going to jail for the rest of my life because I did something stupid that being said, it’s a lot easier ….. Easier to eat honey than it is to eat vinegar. I certainly wouldn’t want to try it!

It is very annoying that people would rather drink vinegar and suffer the foul taste by telling a lie instead of eating the honey that would be the truth. At least you would get in trouble, but it would be a lot easier type of thing. I’m just gonna say this right now, I wish people would stop using Mental health cards to get out of prison or to get out of whatever shit situation they got themselves in!

I always up to my shit at least at least I flush it down the toilet and say well it’s done with another. This might sound like polarized thinking, but it is what it is. You should not use the mental health card unless you are literally criminally insane and you’re like not worth saving and stuff then that might be time to use the insanity card but other than that, I would not be using it because I murdered someone because I just couldn’t stand them or I whipped to someone’s car or said fuck you to someone!  The thing I said is, “ I have done it and I’m sorry. I’ll try not to do it again”. That’s basically the thing I always say I’ve done something shitty!

This being said I’m just gonna leave this part with a little bit of advice. Don’t lie about your mental health. Do not lie about anything because karma is watching and karma will come after you if you do commit these or tell these lies in the first place you will suffer at the hands of the law, but you will have the dealing with of the universe as well.!

August 15, 2024 early a.m.

There was another reason why I broke those particular glow sticks to make them glow, particularly your fact that I was interested in modelling or holding them as I said I keep my clothes on whenever I do the modelling because it’s just a lot more tasteful a lot more artistic and stuff that being said I was able to do quite a bit of bottling with the glow sticks. It was very interesting to see how many different colours these things would change. This is the one thing with a polarian star seed Is that we are able to be very creative I may imagine that by introductory post that being said this is no difference. I see a bunch of what was supposed to be dud glow sticks and I see that I can break them obviously, and the guy who found them couldn’t break them worth the pinch of shit being said that says a lot right there, and I broke all of them at once obviously when I was organizing my room I still have a lot of organizing to do, but that being said this was a fun thing I found, and I wanted to take a vantage of this and do some modeling. That being said, kind of felt like I was in Tokyo when I was taking the pictures with the glow stick having said I found this very cool. I enjoyed taking the pictures like I had in my hand. You know how bright Tokyo is especially at night that being said I found that this was really cool. I will except for the covers over my head, I felt like I was in a Japanese nightclub, which was pretty interesting , I’m not trying to be anything. I’m just saying this as well. I would feel like if I was in Tokyo, but I was like having it in my hands at the bottom of my fingers. I should get more of these one day or today I should say it’s just 3 o’clock in the morning. I should get rid of these sooner or later , they serve no purpose to me now so that being said it’s very interesting to have done this. I don’t want this to be a in a lifetime thing so I might find some more different things with glow sticks and do something about that!

The fact that this actually had intense light when you put them all together was very interesting to me. I find that I wanted to do this, but I don’t know where to find them until I was cleaning out my room the backstory about cleaning out my room is the fact that I have a cleaning job And another place not where I live, but cleaning job to pay for tattoos, piercings blues festival, and other things like that that being said, I find that cleaning actually helps with my mindfulness and meditation. I know some people would say that that is a bad thing for your brain is meditation, but it isn’t exactly the worst thing either. Actually, it actually helps me clear out shit from my head  Out my ear and I don’t have to deal with it ever again when I clean it’s more than just money to me. It’s actually mindfulness and meditation so he said why don’t you go and do that to your room and I said I think I might do that that being said what I did, I was feeling at the top of my game , just like cleaning them, but I was at the top of the game. I was enjoying this until I found the glow stack that was the idea that the glow sticks were going off all at once when I broke them that being said it was very interesting and I said well as well. Do something creative with them now  And I waited a while after I done my cleaning after a while before I went to bed to do this! they said I wish people would find cleaning as more inspiration and self and marvel way of meditating and mindfulness so just thinking it’s a chore I find it helps me with a lot of things that help me work out my hyperactivity and stuff if I’m ever hyper again I know where to go this time that being said I find this is very important to do especially for your mental health so that was the backstory of why I was cleaning my room for fun that being said I have a long way to go still !

As I have a lot of things to do that being said is very interesting to see where this will take me one day I just clean my room but the same friend who mentioned that I should clean my room for fun whenever I feel bored or something or angry or something actually, he was the one that suggested that I do my own cleaning business he used to have an idea for a for himself and used business called China. I asked him if I could use that name shine he said yes, I was cleaning thing that being said after work on that logo everything that being said is very interesting to cleaning and far that actually helped my neighbour after the end of the day. I still felt like a bad day because someone couldn’t stop triggering subject matter I obviously ignored him, but it was starting to wear on me. 

There’s person who does this. I don’t wanna say what their name is that or something that a fact that being said their name is irrelevant they just like to poke at you and trigger you at times trigger. I learned from an ex-boyfriend means That you are pissed upset that being said this person likes to do a lot of pissing off as far as I was concerned he kept it up all afternoon and I think I blew my all over the place that being said I don’t think I did but did I did not enjoy having to blow my shit all over everyone and say stupid stuff and shit like that that really could get me into a lot of trouble over a goddamn meeting that really wasn’t any importance except me. He did not have to buzz into my business and then try to up everything that being said I don’t try to talk of people, but as I said, this guy likes to trigger you until you act really badly out of that being said, I think he does. He doesn’t have very much activities or hobbies. I should get him an Account on wattpad!  Maybe it would give him something to do. Maybe it would give him something to realize that he was being a jackass or something to that effect but I don’t think he would use it instead he’s just a pain in the arse. I don’t like to say that about my friend, but as I said, sometimes she does this so I can do something completely awful to whoever is around me, and I look like an asshole, that being said, I did not really enjoy having him come up saying first time that was what it was. I should’ve said Set Was pissing me off in the first place it wasn’t anyone else’s fault but instead of made it look like everyone else’s fault instead of me and set! That being said, I think this was supposed to be between the two of us and not anyone else but he made it to the point where I got other people involved and this is over something that was completely minuscule and I wouldn’t have thought about that so I ended up having an early night last night and decided not to deal with this bullshit anymore because I just found him upset and triggering the same damn word!

I had to get away from him usually he’s a nice guy, but sometimes he’s looking for a laugh. He’s gonna piss you off now and and he’ll do it in a way that’ll make you feel sorry for yourself and other things and then go after other people that shit it’s his idea of comedy, but it’s not really comedy. It’s tragedy to be honest with you. That being said I did not like set way of doing things was not being a very nice person he kept harping on this situation as if it was funny about the whole thing making me dwell on the whole situation. I know this thing is over and done with. I am in my bedroom. I don’t have to worry about him, but instead, he fucked it up by  Talking about the subject did not wanna hear about him being said I wish I could go back in time and apologize or better yet find another way to blow my shit without going all over everyone and making everyone feel like crap that being said I don’t like that idea blowing my cake top!

Basically, this is my black-and-white thank you or my polarized thinking again that was starting to creep in that being said I was not very happy about the idea of saying that this guy is an asshole end of story kind of thing when he was actually there he is actually a nice guy, but he probably was having a bad moment as well. I don’t blame him on that part but I don’t think it’s nice to take it out on people or make me or make other people take it out on other people as well I don’t think it was very polite, I found this very rude and I wanted that to be mentioned in the whatever wanted to be brought up, but it was never brought up. It was what I did that was brought up and stuff that was pretty bad if I could just talk to the people I hurt and say listen. I was not my right frame of mind so I was riding my ass and everything else , my emotional ass I should say maybe things would’ve turned out differently or better yet had I just got downstairs to where I live or actually better yet outside and just do a little and then think about it. Let it go baby. Things would’ve been a lot different. I think I should do that. The next time he’s acting like an asshole cause I think that’s what was triggering me. Was this whole change of having this king of assholes Living with me that was kind of like this new roommate he could be very nice most of the time but sometimes if he’s looking for a good laugh, forget about it you’re not gonna find kindness. It is gonna find a fucking bully and I don’t take to kindly with those I don’t have time I got the flight with them not physical freeze cause I know that will land me and license sentence in prison and that would not be OK with me. That would be pretty bad sorry try not to go physical, but he was after me still and I had a defend myself subway and everyone else got attacked at the same time not physically but emotionally that being said I was not happy about this whole situation .

Star Wars being a bully and stuff like that idea that someone’s being a pain in your ass all the time every day all day where you and I find I can’t deal with it that I can deal with it sometimes I can’t and I can’t help but deal with the situation in the light, which is kind of awful what I supposed to say people say what’s up with you I hate the guy that someone said it’s getting to a point where I’m going to be very truthful one day I say well he’s aggravating me to no end! and I don’t like going to say that or say something negative, but I might come up to that that the silliness the anger it was because of the changes that we’re going on and I’m not happy about them and stuff like that I don’t wanna say anything more and make more waves so I’m just gonna have to keep it to myself. I don’t want to, but I don’t wanna blow off either so I have to find a way to, lose my shit because I said I had to go to bed early last night because I was afraid of blowing up again!

That being said I hope today will be a better day and that I don’t have to be aside out of doing anything that I don’t wanna do i.e. getting angry annoyed that being said he was just being a pain in my ass. I don’t know what issues should I just rather continue on and not think about this anymore today is a new day and I’m hoping that it’ll come up a lot better than yesterday That I don’t blow up and act a fool that said it was very interesting. How a couple words can influence me whether or not really my words and stuff like that I found it very aggravating, and I found it more annoying than anything else that someone wouldn’t shut the hell off in the first place at the wrong place at the wrong time with the wrong girl  as I said, it’s not fun to deal with, but as I said, I didn’t have the choice of dealing with this clown or should I say class clown in the first place who thinks he’s funny but really he’s funnier than a funeral parlour right now because he thinks she’s all that shit and heart that being said it’s very annoying. He is a shit but it’s not hard. He’s just a plain shit. He thinks he’s funny and he’s really not really that funny and I just wanna, walk away from the back and and stuff like that very aggravated and people wonder where I get my polarized thinking from where it comes from I’m not just my spiritual archetype but also because I can’t stand certain people 

Those people are loud Schucks funny, and that God‘s gift to people and stuff like that would really they’re horrible human beings and they really should be locked up in jail because there nothing more than people and jail is a place for people other people or I find that he should be in jail and should be in my opinion because he is hurting a lot of people not just me but me as well. It’s kind of annoying to say, but it is what it is. He should be in jail for what he is doing this verbal abuse to the point where I end up doing the same fucking thing. 

That being said, I hope this will be better instead of dealing with crap!

 

August 14, 2024 late p.m.

And I organize my room or semi organized my room. It was very interesting indeed to do. I found couple of things particularly these specs that I never thought I’d find them about 100 or 50! That being said being able to break them was satisfying, but I was just organizing my room I did not think that I would find a score like this nor break it that being said it was very interesting and I have some modelling tonight to do as you can see as I have to do a lot of modelling with regards to this. it’s very interesting that I did this cause I was thinking about doing something similar, but I didn’t think I had the glow stick anyway someone said that organizing your room or cleaning it out actually will help you mentally it actually turned out help me a lot because when I do my cleaning, I find it helps me a lot with a lot of things! So clean and organized my room and found these glow sticks!  I broke all of them I don’t know what was more satisfying, cleaning my room, or finding these glow sticks and smashing them!   I think that will be a 2fer!  That being said I was shocked to see that getting rid of shit  and organizing it will help with my PTSD!   But the fun part was the glow sticks!  And breaking and and seeing what would happen!   I did not think they would glow but lo and behold they did! looks like I have some modelling to do tonight which would be with the glow sticks that I busted that being says very interesting to see where the idea comes from creativity and it’s just from cleaning my room. It’s very interesting. I wonder what will happen tomorrow when I clean my room a little bit more that being said what will happen another tattoo come out of my head!   Speaking of which I also mentioned about a tattoo, the idea of getting another tattoo because I was kind of going stir crazy and I didn’t get another tattoo. My head was gonna explode kind of thing and I felt I was doing a lot better than I have been and let’s say since three months ago four months ago, five months ago kind of thing that being said I requested that I would be able to get another tattoo which was very agreeable!

So that made me a little hyperactive in a good way in the idea of getting another tattoo in the fall would be very interesting. I’m not gonna dwell on it, but it is interesting nonetheless to see the fact that I have chosen a tattoo, and get it!  That being said: lucky Number seven that being said this is gonna be my seventh tattoo. It’s one of those flash sale tattoos which I didn’t think I was going to do again, but there was one that resonated with me yet again this is the second year this is happened!   That was when I realized more into flash sales than anything else other than my mental health!

It is a ghostly pumpkin that I’m gonna get. I’ll show you that one tomorrow but it’s very interesting nonetheless that I found this in my own tattoo parlour that I usually go to anyways is interesting to see what I might find and what I might not there about $80 these suckers the last one is about 120 that being said this will be 121 I include the taxes very interesting to see that, I came across this and wanted that to come to life on my left shoulder. That being said it was a hyper inducing.  The fact that I like getting tattoos, I had a funny feeling that I might get a tattoo soon later before now and Bluecrest, but I didn’t think it was going to happen this season. I am very excited about different things. I might be able to go on a date with someone also I will be getting This tattoo would be very interesting for me. I don’t find these suckers heard as much as some people like to think they hurt! If there are only whimsps That being said, I have to tell them all that they do not hurt worse a pinch of turd!  Especially if you take care of them correctly, they don’t hurt with a pinch of craft. That being said I found this very interesting when I had my first tattoo that I didn’t feel anything. In fact, I nearly fell asleep asleep! This is the girl who’s trying to act tough and will not march, but you know what I mean, but it’s not that case I’ve gone through many bumps and bruises in my life and never felt the thing except for my collarbone that one hurt like a bastard! The only thing that would hurt would be rolling an ankle or which does hurt like a crapper! And broken bone!  Those fucking suck! But I find that if it’s skin related the tattoo, I don’t find that it hurts worth a worth a shit’s crap!  That being said It is very unusual that I wrote a book about this a few days ago a week ago about my tattoo journey that I’m still going through that being said that it doesn’t hurt unless you’re 400 pounds or 200 pounds and then you whimper like a little kid that being said, I don’t use my body, but usually it’s a small girls that make it through the tough stuff! It is what it is I can’t help but I think there’s something about men and not dealing with the pain….. I think it has to do with the childbirth element that women have to go through that we are more hardier doesn’t matter about our ethnicity is we are harder than the other gender!   On offense!

Also, I find that when I did my DNA test I was one thing but then testing it against the athletes on the Olympic Games that being said that was very interesting. I wasn’t supposed to have good leadership skills yet. I’m able to wrangle someone into doing the garbage with me so I can make some money. I also find that I have a very high tolerance as I said about the said that I have a piercer that I have  that man usually faint over!  And I was supposed to not have a natural physical strength that I was able to bust the above 100 glow sticks a feet that I think someone couldn’t do unless they were either pretty strong or they were pretty angry. I wasn’t angry, but I was pretty strong to be honest with you. It was satisfying to hear them crunch again as I said and being able to See the lights starting to from the fluid that being said, I think science can be good sometimes but this case this is pure bull crap saying you don’t have a pain tolerance yet I have a pain tolerance. You don’t have strength yet. I can break a lot of things if I wanted to, but choose not to by hand! They say I wasn’t supposed to be good with leadership and yet I let the garbage get done anyway showing leadership skills. The only thing they got was my stubbornness (determination)!

I find the science can be good for most slings but when you’re trying to compare someone with an athlete who is genetically more tougher than the athlete, the athlete has to train stuff. I don’t have to train to do what I do, but I end up being stronger than them not as fast as them, but stronger than them that being said, yeah I kind of find the science can be full of crap, especially when they talk about ghosts and stuff with science saying there’s no such thing as ghost there’s no such thing as spirits. That’s a pilot crap right there again that is what I call junk science I mean I don’t mind my DNA test for learning about my ancestry to see what I have to do as far as my Piercings are concerned in my tattoos or concerned where to get them done and stuff that being said I don’t really give a rats ass about compare to athlete thinking that she would not be that strong. That being said I’m stronger than an athlete that being said I’ve done a lot more damage in my life physically not just with anger or anything, but I have done a lot like I said the hundred some glow stick I broke the simple fact that I was able to do that much damage without even getting angry!  That my friend is natural strength as I never went into a gym once in my life, except to do the splits or to do some kind of contortion that I had to do because I am a bit of an artist that being said, I did not do anything for building up strength or upgrading my body I just did it because I just needed to do my contortion. I remember when I was a kid that my mother had a picture of me in the laundry basket as a little kid and I had the pretzel possession and I was smiling like a little devil , That said flexibility is more important than anything else and that you need to be more able to stretch and stuff. It’s not just as fitness thing. It’s an art form to me and I find that I have to do this also to be in tune with my ancestors as my ancestors were very flexible and strong people, I already have the strong part down, but I just need to keep up with the flexibility!

August 14, 2024 early a.m.

 

 I swear my sleep is wish washy at times The night before I was able to sleep just fine and now this morning I woke up at 3:33 AM and it’s kind of aggravating to be honest with you actually I see your angel number so I’ll just wait a second!

This angel number brings positivity, spirituality and mental peace and abundance in life. This number is considered as sacred number among all the other numbers. People who encounter this number will flourish your love life and relationship. So, whenever you see angel number 333, which means you will grow in life. To be honest, I am trying to find more mental peace in my Trying to help myself with my abundance by saving money for a trip to Ottawa to see the blues festival! that being said, I find them and feeling a lot more better even though I’m at 3 o’clock in the morning and it’s kind of sucks to be awake at that time. I have a clogged nose nothing is clogged except for the usual flam that being said, I don’t like having a runny nose and not being able to breathe when I need to breathe through my nose, I wish I could go on, but I cannot because it’s kind of aggravating just to talk about my nose how it has been stuffed up for months. Some people might say allergy that is cold or they could be anything for that matter I just don’t think of it as very much except something is more aggravating than anything else , don’t like having a cold to be honest with you because it is not my cup of tea a Covid person when it comes to getting sick so don’t even worry about that. I have no preference in diseases as I don’t like them but anyways.   I don’t know where I got this monster of a cold to be honest with you. It’s pretty bad and I can’t sometimes sometimes you would think I was dead and entered the spirit. If you were to put your finger on my nose to feel the breathing I have to literally use my mouth!

I don’t know what is going on with my nose why it is so flaming and stuff. Some people are stupid enough to think it is my septum, which is kind of asking for a lot of trouble in my opinion because well, I have a lot of pride in my ancestry, even though I save most of it off my head in the morning that being said, I find that people blaming my septum ring is pretty suicidal in my opinion that they are just trying to ask for a nightmare of a argument and I will obviously fight for what I believe in that being said it’s not my nose ring is my sinuses and other stuff that have gone wild that being said, I wish I could do something about this nose. I’m pretty sure this is ragweed season and ragweed season to be honest this drives me insane because I can’t stand To be honest, it drives me insane the ragweed that is!  

I always had a struggle with ragweed season, even with my parents when I lived with my parents I found that I had a problem with ragweed, and I would cause me everything from headaches to this kind of shit, and I can’t seem to get rid of the ragweed so I might as well just accept the fact that I can’t even blow my nose that being said I wish I could go to sleep Stay asleep and be done with it and not have to worry about the whole idea of ragweed season. I really hate ragweed season to be honest with you. I can’t wait for fall and is completely gone and I don’t have to worry about it for a long time, it’ll be around October  Ragweed will be gone until then. I will be happy to see ragweed disappear. In fact I wanted to disappear for the simple fact that it looks like a dandelion and it acts like an asshole! And they act really horrible nose and sinuses!

I must have a sinus infection or something because it is pretty bad that I can’t breathe through my nose. That being said I did and up writing to a few penpals while still struggling to breathe through my nose it was an easy fix, but it is what it is actually I remember one time one of my penpals on the Slowly app asked what is the meaning of life!

There are two of them in my opinion, seeking knowledge and seeking love love meaning friendship, not just the romantic kind and seek knowledge just being able to have a love of learning and to enjoy a good book and enjoying this time where you can spread knowledge as well as learn about different things is very good for life as well. That’s my idea purpose and life as well as to create! Is what I answered in the first place about the idea what the meaning of life some people actually say that the meaning of life is a procreate and have sex I remember having one person tell me that that that was the meaning of being human, which was kind of offensive on my party, even though I do a lot of smutt! I did not like the idea that the only reason to live to have sex that big said I found that very disturbing and I never talk to that person ever again. It must been a few years since I ever talk to that person nor do I really give a shit.! Is to be able to love to be able to gain knowledge and learn about different things and well. My idea for life is to create as well. I this is more important than I’d say or anything offensive!

The idea that some people think that sex is the only reason we live is kind of disturbing to me and I think those people might end up becoming serial killers or predators in the long run because they are pretty bad!

Also, I discovered it now terminology, which would be bipoc! Which means black indigenous or people of colour! I might not be black or indigenous, but I am a person of colour the last time I checked my DNA test I went as far as the all time mountains as far as my ancestry is concerned and I was pretty close to Mongolia that being said that is not particularly “white“ nor do I care because I am who I am either take it or leave it. I mentioned this many times that they’re gonna have to deal with who I am not as negative because I am who I am. I found out that ter means black indigenous, and people of color, particularly I agree with the people of colour part because I am , basically a person of colour that sounds strange to say that and I really could care less about race or eugenics or anything for that matter, but I am who I am and below will not take speech very well to be honest with you! In the fact, I fart the people who say racist things are actually below the normal standard of living. That being said I find that if you don’t give a rats ass about something that is really like DNA and stuff I find this a lot easier to just accept the fact that the person is human, I don’t mind the word bipoc Although it is a strange sounding word in a strange word, at least it’s better than some things that stupid people would say!

The idea making an acronym is very interesting instead of using black or Asian or something to that effect that people were segregate you by words instead this word actually sounds a lot better. I know it doesn’t sound too nice but at least a lot better than let’s say you’re this you cannot do that or you can do that. It’s kind of obvious something that is a sore spot is racism Because I find that I could care less even when I was a little kid I didn’t ask someone why is that person? God darker skin tone me or something that line I didn’t say that I just said nice. I wish I had that and be done with it, and my mother would congratulate me not being an asshole! Although I tried to be as dark As possible that as much as possible, that being said, I don’t believe that there are different races in the human race. I think there’s only one race in the human race and that is human to be honest with me. I don’t know why people have to put everyone in because a certain variation of skin colour is kind of Ridiculous again the same with religion, ridiculous!

I know that people sometimes who say that they either put someone in a box and they’re happy as is as if they’re up possession of that person I’m gonna put in a box and label this way and be done with that. I don’t like that idea to be honest with you I find that just assinining aggravating. Why do people have to be like that is beyond me? I know I figure obsessive compulsive when you do this thing with other things that’s one thing but to put people in a fucking box because of their fucking genetics or religion is kind of a mean thing to do. It’s not something I would suggest doing in front of me unless you want to get a few teeth mess I don’t like to be threatening either, but as I said, I don’t like people putting people in a box. People should not be in a box or a certain box. I think people should be where they wanna be in first place regardless of DNA or religion! This is where my polarized will come in handy in life is that I do not believe in racism or anything else! As I said, I like the idea of bipoc Instead of saying, oh, you have to stay in the box at least this is more inclusive and less asset for me to deal with!

I said I used to live in a small town where they were not as inclusive to people who were Asian, or whatever else might be in your genetics. That being said they were very discriminative as I said, I used to be called a dumb Iranian and a dumb chink for many things. I don’t like those words, but I have to quote them because that’s what I was called And I would literally get into a rumble with these people because they were just so aggravating and I’d say just either leave me alone or if they didn’t I’d start throwing punches like they were Halloween candy is not exactly easy and I’ve had a deal with this as a kid as well. It wasn’t just as an adult!

When I was a kid, I was in Catholic school. It was a shit box because kids were calling me lesbian when I’m pansexual. I didn’t know that at the time, but still would call me every ethnic name under the sun just to see how I would fair out, actually start getting into many a fight if I remember correctly! You might call this schoolyard bullying or just plain bullshit but I call it discriminative behavior. I remember Catholic school. I was always called something every day. Something you was going to be brought upon my name or my head and I would have literally something above my head that was saying, I was whatever the hell they were saying.

Nowadays, I don’t give two craps about those types of people. These types of people are usually religious people super or intensely or jealousy religious people to the point where they will not give a crap about your rights nor do I give a crap about there is if they start in on people and I know about it let’s say Had seen someone in my town call someone of the LGBTQ spectrum as blasphemous and I found this awful and this was on Facebook thank God or I would’ve probably killed the person but that is basically why I told that person to shut up or leave. I never saw that to be honest with you in real life! Thank God, for that cause I cannot stand jealous religious people who are to the point of their hateful and they don’t want to give a shit about other peoples feelings and stuff that being said it’s not a LGBTQ just being human. It is a sin how I find to be a religious salad and a robot who doesn’t give a shit about other people And whatever else. I honestly not going to start talking about this!

August 13, 2024 late p.m.

I have been enjoying the day mostly outside for the most part the cicadas are out again trying to sing their song is very interesting indeed to hear them. It is about late p.m. now so I’m just gonna tell you I helped with the groceries. I didn’t do very much with, anything except that I created some trading cards for my Facebook group that being said it was very interesting to do trading cards I just hope that people would accept them as they have been a little bit more rough around the edges more so than I thought they would be and I am kind of pissed off that they were that way that they didn’t turn out as well as I thought they would. I thought they would be like a nice forest with each of the different constellations and stuff but it didn’t turn out as well as I’d hope it turned out. I use a sharpie instead of just normal pan that kind of would probably clenched it in the first place I haven’t been having very much success with that, but I hope that people can understand that well it was my beginner is loser lock that started this all up and that I can actually try again sometime when I have more money that being said is very interesting that trading cards that you can make for trading cards. I belong to an artist trading card club on Facebook. I would like to be able to make some friends on that particular group but as I said, I just have , my trading cards I think people are laughing me out of the group at this point in time I’m not really giving a rats ass at this point because I’ve been laughed out of plenty of other groups, but I’m not gonna get laughed out of this one for sure the idea that you’ve been  out of a group let’s say is not always the most enjoyable thing to deal with and with me with my more flight and flight response I usually confront the asshole who’s causing me to be pissed off at the group in the first place and usually affectively getting me blocked from that group there was one group people were tearing my photos down  not literally off of Facebook, but on the group they were saying bad things and saying stupid shit that being said I was very angry and I did not like that and I decided to ban myself from that group. I didn’t care too much for that group to be honest with you!

I’ve been laughed out of groups before, and as very aggravating, as sometimes I even went as far as to post about the people who are laughing at my post and I’ve told them that if they weren’t gone from the group I was, and they revoked my points and stuff was pretty stupid. Didn’t like the idea that some people would choose the bully over the person being bullied, but it is what it is sometimes some people are just idiots. I just called them humans instead of human beings at times like this because they are not, quite human if you know what I mean or not quite human being enough to care about the right person who is being picked on that being said I’ve had this that may as well have been my particular biography, but it didn’t turn out that was gonna be my memoir Title it was something else but anyway let’s see what was going to happen anyways it was very interesting to see what people would think about my artist trading cards. I know they were rushed. I know that but took about three hours to get them done. I I have an idea in my head, help me God, thinking of something that will be a lot better and then I have to plough that idea into the ground if you would and pay it if you would is kind of important to me that I do that in someways cause I’m afraid I’ll forget some cases not that I have too much of a crappy memory. I have too much of a good memory at times that causes people to think that I have grudges against other people, but I don’t actually do in some cases. It’s just I remember what they have done in the first place that piss me off that makes me remember them more so then I say a good person doing something nice to me  not being said I don’t try to hold grudges because some people think that I am holding grudges!

 I’m not gonna say who made me think I have hold grudges in the past but it’s stressed the way it is with the way. My brain is working and stuff that I just remember the crappy part is usually the case with some people that we just remember the crappy parts instead of the more memorable good parts That being said, I’ve been screwed and tattooed most my life until up to this point where I’ve now just assume people are just gonna screw me over all over again just for some odd reason. I am honestly thinking that that is what some people having their hearts is that they’ll just try to screw you over some of them do some of them don’t and  Fact, the idea that I had to delete another Facebook dating profile because I was afraid of my emotions was enough for me to deal with the particular deleting of the Facebook profile of Facebook dating profile because I’ve had been twice bitten once and I am not ready for a third time to be bitten so that being said  One thing I remember was giblet head and her friend this first giblet had who I’m pretty sure was a sociopath try to get me well succeeded in making me take pictures. I’m not usually far of taking pictures of that alone and seeing that being said she ended up trying to blackmail me and it was very disturbing and then her friends said she’s posting pictures blah blah blah. It was kind of aggravating to be honest with you that I was dealing with this kind of situation was because the first person is not the person who is working for them, which would be the psychopath. I’ll tell you that I was not happy about the whole idea. I remember the person‘s name that I hold a grudge against those two people because they’ve caused so much damage for me. I could’ve lost a lot of things because of what these shitheads did to me  and I’m pretty sure they were horrible human beings. They could probably cause a lot of fucked up shit Trying to start that kind of people that they will cause conflict between nations because they just wanna go to laugh!

I am trying not to hold grudges on some people, but as I said, these two shouldn’t even put them in the same category as me as a person, but these two people were really bad and I hope they get banned from Facebook and a couple of other social media sites that they may have been using that scam other people you must have a black and dark gift to do that Tell you the truth they were one of them was a sociopath which is a level up for a psychopath. Sociopath tells what the psychopath is going. The psychopath says oh he’s gonna post a picture and stuff like that and it’s a real shit show. I found that this was God , awful for me to deal with so it was just at the beginning of spring so wonderful happy spring for me !

I couldn’t get over this certain issue for a long time and I was bugging the hell out of me for quite some time that I didn’t wanna deal with the ramifications anymore, but thank God there were very little ramifications except I might have to take an online safety course I just think I need to take a psychiatry course in order to better these kind of assholes who can cause a lot of problems. I have been dealing with these types of people most of my life who are really sociopathic and psychopathic to the point where I can actually smell them, By that I mean, I’m getting fed up to the point where I can actually tell when someone is a dark triad or has dark triad personalities that being said it does sound like polarize thinking, but I’ve been dealing with a lot of crap from a lot of crap people and I can actually tell when they’re gonna be crappy or not so crappy just buy the first instinct or the first impression of them that being said I don’t like these scammers to be honest with you!

Yes, I have the ability to find out if someone is a dark triad just by being around them enough to know that well yes it’s pretty bad that they can give off a certain energy that even as I said a profiler cannot even feel they have this energy that is beyond words or beyond comprehension, even for behavioural profile or that being said, you only have to be an empath to know when someone is dark triad, or has dark triad trays they can actually make you feel uncomfortable They can make you feel not Addy the right things at the right time and shit like that. It’s pretty fucked up to be honest with you. You don’t wanna deal with these types of people like I’ve dealt with most of these people my life not just my aunt my brothers or  Some of the friends that were supposed to be friends, but turned out to be fake friends in school. That being said I’m not gonna get into that part right now is the fake friends. The fake friends were pretty bad. Couple of them made me look like I was trying to commit suicide when I was  Not even closer even thinking about that then it was more less put on a school watchlist that I was that way, it was kind of bad to be honest with you. That was the first fake friend I ever had and I was pretty bad and I’m tired of these dark triad people who have caused more problems if you were  to deal with these people, you would be done with dealing with humans of any type at this point one of the strong signs of polarian star seed is that They have a version of very strong version towards other humans, especially when they’ve been twice bitten. If you would polarian star seeds or not ones who take other peoples bullshit kindly! As I said, we do have a strong version to people, especially when we’ve been traumatized repeatedly. That’s this stars way of thinking polarize and very interesting to see that that is what it is. I don’t know how the other star seeds would think but this is basically how I think!

I don’t know how much to say about the idea of being a Polan star seed, but that is basically the idea of what it is is a star seed is someone who is So was from another star system. Particularly mine was the polarity star system that being said, I am who I am. I said to many people who are going to bug me and bug the hell out of me Either take it or leave it or get out of my way. It is just what it is anyway just trying to create some more book covers that being said not for that serial killer thing but for the other stuff as well that I fly very interesting romance yes I Do write a lot of romance to my thinking as if it mixes the black and the white and something else completely entirely and I’m able to think a little more like everyone else but that is basically what I do to help a great one polarize thinking from another that’s what I do and I do a lot of romance writing for the fact that it is a lot better. It helps you see the life the greys that you need to see in order to have a healthier relationship with someone else like for example when I was with my ex, I did not see things with Fifty Shades of Grey no offence to that term but yeah, I did not use the in my life to see what life really was instead I did not refer to 50 shades as a colour of gray instead, I ended up going and screwing over myself by dealing with him cheating on me and stuff it’s kind of honestly pretty bad  myself up for failure to see so that’s why I write a lot of romance novels and stuff like that because it’s a lot easier than saying this is good. This is evil there’s no in between kind of thing there’s something else the next one will be called. we are not talking. 

I have been thinking too much polarized wise thinking with my relationships and I think that’s what may have caused and I’m not saying I’m blaming myself. I do love myself, but I don’t like what other people think of me that they may not be as happy with me as some other people are happy with me that being said that’s their screw job not mine. I’m just living my life as best as possible. If you know what I’m talking about my ex he’s a he did himself screwed job by only dealing with, certain people that do not think polarize or don’t try to think polarize instead he didn’t see what he was gone now he’s gonna miss out on what we lost and that’s his problem not mine as I said we don’t talk anymore. Will be something similar to this particular thing only it’ll be a lot more , romantic and not as much as being cheated on I think that’s what the beginning of the story will be and they’ll be enemies to friend still lovers kind of thing that being said I hope that will be the case with this book. Will it be interesting enough I don’t know, but I would be sure happy to see more of these types of books. I did a colleen  Hoover style ugly love style different. It starts with her so whatever type of book cover I find those are very beautiful book covers. I know some people may think that calling Hoover right about some things that are pretty awful, but I never found anything wrong with her books and I read nine of them. …….

I wish people would calling Hoover for the topics she writes and actually start reading her books and actually just reading them unbiassed like I did and say well that was a good rousing read instead of this is a fan or disgusting. I wish people would stay more of that offensive and disgusting, unless it is something that is purely hateful or is torturing it galore I think then something may be said that yes it is disgusting and offensive but if it is not a hateful book, I don’t think he should be or it’s not torture wall to wall torture I don’t think you should worry about the idea of it being a disgusting book so really stop people!  Guess there are a few other polarian  star seeds out there that people don’t know they are but they use it for the wrong reasons. At least I try to be moral about my decisions!  

August 13, 2024. P.m.

These books are more or less the modern aversion of perfume. But with a more romantic twist would be kind of strange but it is what it is. I have read perfume many times on the same holiday on the same cruise ship. On the same 2 weeks, stopping Saturday was very interesting to read the book. Both 3 times I believe it was very interesting indeed and I found it more interesting than not to see what was going on inside the head. This is more Sensual book this perfume. I find that it's very important to read this book. If you like sensual stuff, but I find that it's important to go and read this. So you know what goes on and a serial killer's mind what they like, what? They obviously do like and stuff. But this one is basically a love story between a girl and A Medical students who they meet on spac. Hey, and they end up talking and soon enough. They end up trying to meet up. But then certain women disappear when this medical student starts to come out in public. And he's pagged as a serial killer and stuff. It's kind of disturbing, but it is what it is. I just started the chapter. With the girls Space hair account which would be like her profile and then I would go from there.I have so many things on the go as far as writing is concerned that it's kind of ridiculous.To be honest with ybut I enjoy writing these things because it's important to get.Whatever demons are in myahead out on the paper hour what Ever device, I have to help quail my demons?If you would, this is basically why I do a lot of creative stuff.Most of the time is to get rid of those.Demonic emotions that I have that are pretty horrible and can cause a lot.Of grief for me and other people.So I just decided to do creative things!   The idea of being creative is a lot better than let's say not feeling good about yourself.Feeling sorry for yourself and being a menace to society that being said.That's basically what the insane clown policy has mentioned many times policy.I mean not policy but anyways let's see what the hell this spell check can fuck up for me! But I never Like android.... to be honest  I like the idea of Apple products.........I am sorry to shift topics.

I have nothing against the medical community.It's just that they're an easier way.Because there are a lot more to adapt to be knowing about anatomy.And stuff, the tasteful anatomy, not the kind that is raunchy and disgusting that being said so I use them for most of my serial killer. character needs That being Being sad they may have even mentioned that jack the ripper was a medical Sorry it was just an easy go from there Who am I using as my character in this case?But we'll see from there.It is very interesting Too right about different things and see where that might I'm sure I hate this fucking phone as it doesn't have good internet.    Some times I like just chuck this phone in the garage one of the days.  It is galaxy something and I have been lobbying for a new phone for the past year.   I fucking hate this phone I hate hate it.

That being said that was the p.m. nothing much going on in The first place......boring.